I recently had the opportunity to talk to reporter Todd Walker about a subject many of us are struggling with:
How to feel safe when out and about in a world that can feel very unsafe at times.
Take a look:
Category: Stress Management
When You’re Afraid to Take Your Kids to School
…or go to the movies
…or go to the mall
…or go the the holiday parade
Sadly, many of us are questioning our time in large crowds these days. What seems like a constant barrage of terrifying reports of shootings has all of us scared. While we know that the vast majority of us will be safe as we go about our day-to-day routines, it can be easy to wonder:
What if my family is the next one to experience violence?
Calming our nerves (and the nerves of our kids) can be tough, but it’s possible. Here’s how:
Keep doing what we’re already doing. Most of us have some pretty good stress-management strategies on board already. Knitting, praying, walking, talking with friends – these are all examples of ways to cope with stress. The key is to keep using them now that we need them most.
Turn off the TV already. It’s easy to overdo it when it comes to media coverage of current events. Normally that’s OK, but when it comes to difficult, distressing stories less is more. Learn the basics then turn it off.
Help someone else. We know that volunteering helps our community, but what we sometimes forget is that it’s good for our mental health, too. There are about a million opportunities to give our time and resources this time of year, making finding volunteer options as easy way to cope with the stress of the news.
Want more ideas about how to cope with violence in the news? Check out this helpful article over at APA.
What Does a Panic Attack Feel Like?
Panic attacks are fairly common. In fact, NIMH estimates that Panic Disorder (a disorder characterized by recurrent panic attacks and persistent worry about future attacks) affects about 6 million Americans. Wow. And anyone who has ever experienced a panic attack will tell you they’re no fun at all. In fact they can be downright terrifying.
The tough thing about panic attacks is they can strike anytime – from right before a big presentation, to when you’re watching your favorite movie on your couch at home. And to make things worse, t they feel like lots of other, unpleasant things (like heart attacks, for one).
So what does a panic attack feel like? Here are a few things folks can experience during a panic attack:
- heart palpitations
- feelings of terror or intense fear
- shakiness in hands and limbs
- tightness in chest
- difficulty breathing
- fear of “going crazy,” losing control and/or dying
- feeling faint
- trouble breathing
- tingling sensations
- hot or cold flashes
- nausea
- dizziness
- numbness
- confusion, trouble concentrating or forming thoughts
- disorientation
Sounds awful, doesn’t it?  And to top it off, panic attacks can last 30 minutes or more.  Luckily, we know there are effective treats for panic attacks and Panic Disorder. Psychotherapy – particularly Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy – has been shown to be and effective treatment. There are also medications that can be helpful. For more information on treatment for panic attacks check out this information at NIMH.
Saying “No” To Holiday Stress
Is Thanksgiving really less than a week away? If the thought sends a little bit of panic through your system like it does mine, you might find these tips useful. My favorite? “Practice Saying No.” As in:
No, I’m not going to try to out-do all the other moms when it comes to teacher gifts.
No, I appreciate the invitations, but I won’t be attending every holiday event.
No, I’m not going to participate in the rampant consumerism and keeping-up-with-the-Joneses-ism that often plagues the holidays
Oh and another thing: This lady’s stress would be a whole lot less if she ditched the heels. Check it out:
Dealing With Stress When You’re Depressed
Everyone gets stressed out. Those “perfect” people on Facebook, yoga instructors, preschool teachers, and even people struggling with depression. Sadly, depression can make managing stress even more difficult than it usually is. Maintaining motivation, focus and organization are all tasks that are affected by depression; yet they’re also tasks needed to manage stress effectively.
I was recently interviewed for an article on Psych Central about how to cope with stress in the midst of a episode of depression. Check it out:
Summer (School’s Out!) Stress Disorder
Is school out in your area?
It’s been out for over a week around here, and I’m noticing there’s a little extra stress happening in some households. This seems to happen every year around this time when the predictability and structure of school that keeps kids occupied for a good chunk of the day comes to an end. And while the last day of school can bring a huge sense of relief and excitement for some families, others might find themselves saying:
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW?
Of course, Summer Stress Disorder isn’t a real mental health diagnosis, but the freedom of summer can certainly be a real source of stress for some parents and kids, too. To keep summer stress to the minimum, consider the following tips:
Talk about it. Sitting down as a family and talking about schedules, plans and expectations for the next 3 months is a great idea. Even if your kiddos are preschoolers, they can benefit too. Older kids (even those home from college) can also benefit from understanding the rules and guidelines for summer (Is curfew the same? Are they expected to work? Do chores around the house?)
Have a plan. I’m big on planning, and big on structure. Not everyone shares my philosophy on running a home (which is completely fine, by the way – there are lots of good ways to raise kids!), but I do think having some basic plans for how days and weeks are organized are a good idea. Will there be time set aside for reading or math practice? Rules around screen time? Participation in camps, volunteer activities, sports or classes? Kids need downtime, but they need at least a bit of structured time too.
Have fun. Staycation – something popularized in the recession – is now a part of our vocabulary. The great thing about it is that there are now TONS of websites and blogs dedicated to helping families plan outings near home. Whether or not big trips are in your summer schedule, fun can be had close to home. Encourage your kids to help you choose an activity and involve them in the planning process.
Take a break. Family time is great, but so is alone time. Don’t forget to schedule in a bit of time for yourself this summer. 3 months can feel like a reeeeaaaallllly long time when every moment is spent with kids.
When Anxiety is a Good Thing
I have written a lot about the danger of experiencing too much anxiety, or dealing with it too much of the time. But is it really all bad? In the ideal world would we be feeling cool-as-a-cucumber every day?
No.
Anxiety, nervousness and worry have lots of good uses. They are the reasons we:
- Wear seatbelts
- Take vitamins
- Study for spelling tests
- Buy vacation insurance
- Debate fracking on Facebook (wait, is that a good thing?)
Here’s another one:
- Improve our self esteem and confidence
Here’s how it works: We think about doing something new/hard and get nervous about it. Let’s use running a marathon as an example. When you first think of running a marathon you might say to yourself:
That’s crazy! I’m not athletic at all! I could never do that!
Then, for some reason (peer pressure, a mid-life crisis, whatever) you decide to sign up for your very first marathon. During the training period you work hard and get stronger, but your nerves and anxiety start acting up. You might say to yourself:
I am crazy for agreeing to this! What was I thinking? I am going to die out there!
But you keep training and the morning of the marathon arrives. You’re prepared, fit and ready, but you still might say to yourself:
I feel like I am going to throw up, I’m so nervous! I have never felt this anxious before! I hate this! I’m never doing this again!
Then you start running, and you keep going and eventually you finish the race. A few days later, after the sore muscles have passed and you have caught up on your sleep, you might say to yourself:
That was amazing! I can’t believe I ran that far and lived! I am so much stronger than I thought! I can’t wait to do that again!
And there you have it: Anxiety—->Preparation—->Living through it—->Increased confidence
Pretty cool, huh? So the next time someone asks you to do something that makes you scared, stretches your abilities or requires you to do something you think you can’t; think twice before turning them down. The anxiety you feel might just turn into an awesome experience.
Stress, Age and Money: Younger Americans Most Stressed About Finances
The American Psychological Association’s annual Stress in America survey was released today.
The good news: Overall, Americans report experiencing less stress
The bad news: Younger Americans and parents tend to report more stress – particularly about money – than other Americans
Now, this is no great surprise. Young adulthood is a super-expensive time in life. First cars, first homes, student loans, babies: all these things combined with relatively low, early-career salaries combine to make money tight in a lot of young households. What is surprising is that the APA survey found that younger, stressed out Americans tend to manage their stress in unhealthy ways when compared to other groups. This might mean drinking too much alcohol or engaging in sedentary activities for too much time (surfing the internet or watching TV).
The real bummer is that we know chronic, high levels of stress are no good for our health in the long term. In fact, high levels of stress can lead to depression, cardiovascular disease, and all sorts of other things.
Check out the complete results to learn more about APA’s Stress in America survey.
#stressapa
Book That Vacation Now!
One of my favorite vacation spots: Seaside, Florida
This time of year can be rough. Long nights, short days, cold, wind, snow. Ugh. And for those of us in my neck of the woods (Northern Colorado), spring is a looonnnnnggggg way off. I don’t even want to think about it.
I was recently reminded how important vacations are. Sure, they’re nice in the summer; but it’s this time of year when they can work some serious magic on mental health. And it’s not just about the pretty photos you get by the beach (though those are nice, too). Vacationing is an important part of overall health. Here’s the scoop:
- We all need a break from our day-to-day duties and responsibilities. Sometimes I feel like if I fold one more hoodie, make one more trip to the post office, or drag the trash cans to the curb one more time I will scream! These tasks aren’t hard, but they get boring. And work can become taxing and overwhelming for everyone at times. In order to stay fresh and motivated to participate in the work of our lives – whatever that work may be – we need a break every now and then.
- It can be easy to take what we have for granted. Sometimes traveling or taking a little vacation can give us a new perspective that allows us to see our lives in a whole different light.
- It can be hard to truly relax or “unwind” when we are caught up in to-do lists and the momentum of everyday. Vacations – even a night or two away – can give us the chance to put down the phone, turn off the alarm and good a decent night’s sleep for once.
- Good memories: making them, remembering them, and trying to re-create them are all important pieces of maintaining healthy relationships. No one ever reminisced: “Remember that time we paid the mortgage on time? That was so fun!” Vacations are not only enjoyable, but also meaningful, and allow us to create and share memories with the ones we love. And some of the best memories are made when we are on vacation.
Vacations don’t need to be expensive, fancy or glamorous. A trip to the local Super 8 is adventure enough. And it might be just what the doctor ordered to get through the next few months of winter.
The Cheapest Way to Manage Stress
I am trying something new (and scary!): YouTube videos!
Check out my quick message about how to manage holiday stress by getting outside: