When You’re Too Embarrassed To Get Help

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I really wish I knew how many people think about starting therapy, but don’t actually do it.  Because my hunch is that it’s a whole heck of a lot.

We hear people talking about the stigma around mental illness and mental health treatment all the time, and honestly I think the one who suffers from this stigma is often ourselves.  Here’s what stigma against mental health treatment looks like when we use it on ourselves:

  • I should know how to fix this myself
  • I am a __________ (insert title: therapist, physician, teacher, etc), I should know how to deal with this on my own!
  • I am too smart to have anxiety (or depression)
  • I don’t have anything to feel worried or depressed about
  • I have good friends and a supportive family, I shouldn’t feel so bad

The fact is, public education about mental health has been so good in recent years, that most of us wouldn’t dream of saying any of the above statements to a friend, loved one, or stranger.  We know mental illness isn’t:

  • A choice
  • A weakness
  • A comment on one’s intelligence, place in the world or likeability

But yet some of us still say these unhelpful, untrue things to ourselves.  Why?  Because the stigma around mental illness still exists.  It’s fading for sure, but it has a long way to go.  So if you find that you are talking yourself OUT of getting mental health treatment, label those thoughts for what they are: junk.  Then pick up the phone and do what you need to do to take care of yourself.

To find a psychologist near you, check out APA’s Psychologist Locator service. It’s a free, easy place to start.

 

Dealing With Stress When You’re Depressed

Everyone gets stressed out. Those “perfect” people on Facebook, yoga instructors, preschool teachers, and even people struggling with depression.  Sadly, depression can make managing stress even more difficult than it usually is.  Maintaining motivation, focus and organization are all tasks that are affected by depression; yet they’re also tasks needed to manage stress effectively.

I was recently interviewed for an article on Psych Central about how to cope with stress in the midst of a episode of depression.  Check it out:

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Everything You Need to Know About Mental Health in 11 Minutes

I came across this clip this morning.  It is amazing.  Like, really one of the best commentaries on mental health I have ever seen.  EVER.

It’s funny, and sad, and snarky, and entertaining, and enlightening – and very informative.  It pretty much sums up the mental health care system in the US in the last 100 years.

These days, 11 minutes is a long time to devote to a video, but I highly recommend watching this one from start to finish.  It’s a little uncomfortable to watch at times, but i think that’s a good thing.  We need to be challenged in the way we think and talk about mental illness and treatment.  Who knew John Oliver would be the one who would challenge us?

Coping With the Holiday Blues

Image: This BettyTurbo card on Etsy cracked me up!

Image: This BettyTurbo card on Etsy cracked me up!

I have been writing a short series on the Holiday Blues.  Yea, yea I know it’s still a million degrees out and the leaves have just started changing.  Believe it or not, it’s this time of year; with ever-shortening days, and ever-expanding store holiday displays, when the Holidays Blues can begin to strike.

Last time I wrote about the signs and symptoms of the Holiday Blues.  Today I’m going to offer some tips about managing the Holiday Blues, with the hope of actually enjoying the last 3 months of the year – holidays included.  Here goes:

Take it a day at a time.  Sure, the holidays take some prep and planning.  But unless you make your living on Pinterest, you probably don’t need to get into holiday mode quite yet.  It’s still a month until Halloween! Instead of stressing about how the holidays are going to plan out, try enjoying the fruits of the current season instead.  Cider, anyone?

Manage your mood now.  If the signs of the Holiday Blues hit close to home, try doing something different NOW, before your mood really goes downhill.  Socialize more; change up your exercise routine; return to hobbies or organizations that give you joy; talk about your stress.  Whatever it is: do something to mix it up.

Do something different.  Are the holidays always a difficult time of year for you?  If so, you might consider doing something totally out-of-the-box and different than what you normally do to celebrate.  Go to a creepy movie instead of handing candy to kids on Halloween. Go camping on Thanksgiving.  Volunteer at a shelter on Christmas.  You get the idea.

Seek professional help.  If none of the above tips help, consider seeking professional help.  Psychologists can help you look at your situation differently, help create new strategies for coping, or help you understand your circumstances in a different way.

 

 

Signs You Might Have the Holiday Blues

Photo: Getty Images/Fickr RF

Photo: Getty Images/Fickr RF

The other day I wrote about the holiday blues, and how they can start even when the weather’s hot and the leaves are on the trees.  Check out the full post here.

Today I’m going to talk about some of the signs and symptoms of the holiday blues.*

The thing about our moods is that we often don’t notice what’s happening with them.  Very few of us sit around pondering the state of our mental health:

“Hmmmm, am I happy or sad today?”

“What is the word that best describes my current psychological state?”

To carry on like that for too long would be annoying for all involved.  On the other hand, it’s because we don’t often pay much attention to our mood that changes can sneak up on us, and catch us by surprise.  Mood often changes slowly, with subtle signs and symptoms along the way.  If we pay close attention, we’ll notice the changes.  Check these out:

  • increased irritability (everyone is driving me nuts!!!!)
  • decreased motivation (it’s hard to get myself to do anything)
  • decreased pleasure (I don’t look forward to reading Us Weekly like I used to)
  • increased worry (I am stressed about everything!)
  • low mood (I just feel kind of down)

As with most things, the sooner we become aware of a problem, the easier it is to fix it.  Stay tuned for tips on how to manage the holiday blues before they get out of hand.

*Please note, “the holiday blues” is not a diagnosis recognized by the DSM-IV or ICD-10, but rather term used by this author to describe a non-clinically significant cluster of symptoms.

 

 

The Holiday Blues in September?

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I don’t know how the weather is in your neck of the woods (Hello, Al Roker!), but around here it’s still hot, hot, hot!  We’re still in tank tops and flip flops, just dreaming of cooler days when we can snuggle up in our hoodies.

Meanwhile, the strangest thing is happening: the “Holiday Blues” are beginning to take hold.  By holiday blues I mean the low mood and high anxiety that often accompanies the end of the year.

There are many reasons for the holiday blues:

  • family pressure/drama/stress
  • loss (of a loved one or a job, for example)
  • overwhelming pressure to live the life portrayed on Pinterest
  • decreasing amounts of sunlight
  • bad memories or trauma in holidays past
  • annoyance at the length in magnitude of the holiday season (September through January, really?)

Whatever the reason, mid-September can mark the start of a downward slide for many of us.  Stay tuned for signs and symptoms that the holiday blues may be sneaking up on you.

Sadness vs. Depression

Being a human necessarily means that we will experience a wide range of emotions: anger, jealousy, bliss and even sadness. Some say we need to experience sadness and melancholy in order to truly appreciate happiness when it comes.  I’m not sure I totally believe this, but I get the idea.  Regardless, feeling sad from time to time is part of the human experience.

Depression, on the other hand, is not necessarily part of the human experience.  Common? Yes. In fact, almost 10% of the US population will experience some type of depressive disorder this year (source).  But, many of us will go our entire lives without experiencing depression.

So, what’s the difference?

  • Sadness can come and go; depression may last for weeks, months, or even longer
  • Sadness may cause tears or a low mood; depression makes it difficult to do what we need to do in life (perform our job, take care of our kids, take care of our bodies/home/finances)
  • Sadness is often brought on by a life event (job loss); depression may be brought on by a life event, but not always.  Sometimes it just shows up out of the blue
  • Sadness is annoying when it lasts for a while; depression affects how we sleep, eat and interact with the world
  • Sadness makes us feel down; depression can make us feel guilty, hopeless, helpless and like things will absolutely never, ever get any better
  • Sadness makes us cry; depression can make us irritable, withdrawn and even suicidal
  • Sadness will likely resolve on its own; depression is a mental illness that requires treatment.  Individual psychotherapy, group counseling and medications are all options for treatment.

 

 

Mental Health Is More Than Mental Illness

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Today I am joining many other bloggers around the world in support of the American Psychological Association’s Mental Health Blog Day #MHBlogDay.   Here’s a bit about why recognizing and talking about mental health in May (and every month, really) is so crucial:

Congress designated May as Mental Health Month in 1949 to illustrate the importance of mental health issues to the overall health and well-being of American citizens. Each year, bloggers will join APA  for a Mental Health Month Blog Day to educate the public about mental health, decrease stigma about mental illness, and discuss strategies for making lasting lifestyle and behavior changes that promote overall health and wellness.
“Mental health” does not mean “mental illness.”  While understanding mental illness is important, a well-rounded understanding of mental health also includes things like parenting, dating, friendships, aging, healthy eating and exercise, financial planning, spirituality, work-life balance and happiness – among many, many other parts of life.  In this way, everyone should be participating in Mental Health Blog Day, because it’s something we can all relate to.
Add your voice to the event or check out what other people are talking about over at APA.