Category: changing behavior

State of Your Life – 2020

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Are you a fan of New Year’s Resolutions? It seems like they have fallen out of favor in the last few years. Instead, folks seem to be making “life/relationship/parenting/etc goals.” Perhaps that’s the same thing as making a list of resolutions, but sounds better and more do-able? Who knows.

No matter what you call it, it can be useful to slow down this time of year and spend some time thinking about 2019. How did it go? What did you do? What didn’t you do? Like a State of Your Life recap. I’m thinking about things like:

  • How are you using social media?
  • How do you feel about the words and actions you engage in everyday?
  • What’s the state of the relationships in your life?
  • How’s your self confidence? Overall mental health?
  • What do you do with your free time?
  • Are you taking care of your body in the way you’d like to?
  • Is your work life where you’d like it to be?

You get the idea.

Once you think through the State of Your Life, what are you hoping for in 2020? Are there things you’d like to do differently? Try picking one area and start making some small changes. Not sure where to start? Call an expert, read a book, or listen to a podcast for help.

Happy 2020!

Do you have a problem with alcohol?

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I hear a lot of people in my practice ask themselves whether they have a problem with alcohol. Questions like:

Do I drink too much?

Could I stop if I wanted to?

Could I stand it if I had to stop drinking forever?

Has my drinking changed significantly over the past year or so?

It’s difficult to ask these questions, and ever tougher to answer them honestly. So how do you really know if you (or someone close to you) has a problem with alcohol that needs to be address?

I recently wrote an article over at Health eCareers outlining how to determine if your alcohol use is problematic. Check it out:

https://www.healthecareers.com/article/career/how-to-determine-if-you-or-anyone-has-a-substance-abuse-problem


Some points to consider, from the DSM-V:


Giving Up Social Media

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How do you feel about social media?

I’m hearing a lot of people talk about it these days.

I hate Facebook!

Instagram is making me crazy!

I wish I could get off social media!

I totally get it. Social media affects almost all of us -even if we don’t have accounts of our own! The constant connection, comparing and sharing – while maybe not all bad – certainly has an impact on our mental health.

  • How we see ourselves and others
  • How we feel about our kids, our parents, and our friends
  • How we make decisions in our lives, both big and small

So what can you do if you want to make a change? Try life without social media?

Start small, but do something. Take the social media apps off your phone. Delete just one social media account. Don’t post a comment/status/photo for just one day. Pick one small thing and do it. Once you get the hang of that, try adding on another goal.

Put it in its place. Do we really need to check our social media accounts every time we have a free moment? Do we really need to take our phones into the bathroom? Probably not. Again start small, but try banning the phone from just one place: Dinner table, bathroom, kids soccer practice, doctor’s waiting room – somewhere that you usually pick up your phone and browse. Try doing something else: Read a book, bring a Sudoku puzzle – or, you could go crazy and DO NOTHING! Just sit and be. I assure you, it is possible.

Notice the changes. While ceasing to bring the phone into the toilet stall won’t radically change your life, decreasing the amount of time (or eliminating it altogether!) you spend on social media will likely make a difference in your mental health.  Try keeping a journal about how your behavior change affects you, both psychologically and physically. If you make note of the good things happening, it will help you stay motivated!

Good luck!

How Are Your New Years Resolutions Coming?

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It’s been almost a month…do you remember what your New Years resolutions were?

Have you made huge changes in your life? Little changes? No changes at all?

If you haven’t thought about your resolutions since January 3rd, don’t worry – you’re not alone. That’s why I thought I would check in to see how things are coming along.

I tried something a little different this year: Instead of a list of goals/resolutions/changes I wanted to make for 2018, I thought of a word I wanted to focus on. Sort of like a theme word for the year. This felt a little more do-able and interesting than what I’ve done in the past. Stuff like:

  • Save more
  • Meditate more
  • Eat more vegetables

Those sorts of goals just get boring after a while. Instead I have picked a theme for the year – a word I can hopefully reflect on through the year. I’m hoping it provides some inspiration and guidance as the months tick quickly by. Sound interesting? It’s not too late to pick a theme word of your own! Here are some ideas:

  • Quiet
  • Present (as in engaged and aware – not people need to give me more gifts (though that might be a good one too 😉 )
  • Genuine
  • Flourish
  • Joy
  • Particular

You get the idea. Happy New Year!

 

Are Work, School, Activities Getting In the Way of Your Life?

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Is this what dinnertime looks like at your house? Yea, me neither…

I have a million good intentions at the start of each week:

  • I’m going to exercise
  • I’m going to meditate
  • I’m going to watch less TV
  • I’m going to cook fresh foods for every meal
  • I’m going to finally weed the garden
  • I’m going to clear out my email inbox

You know the drill: We all have the best intentions to live in calm, healthy ways. But then reality sets in and all the plans get blown up. I recently wrote an article about how to carve out time – at least a couple of times a week – to slow down and eat a meal with the ones you love. Here’s my favorite tip:

Want to read the entire article? Check it out:

Flying of Flying: There’s An App for That?

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I was recently interviewed by the online publication, Mic. The writer let me know she had some questions about flying anxieties. I answered her questions, felt a little anxiety of my own (flying is NOT my fav), and then forgot about it. I recently read her completed article, and it kind of blew me away.

In the article, the writer describes using a new app aimed at helping folks manage their flying phobias and fears – in REAL time. As in, in the air. I was intrigued for several reasons:

  • I have some flying fears of my own
  • She used the app instead of the usual medications she needs to manage her anxieties
  • I think we are glimpsing the future of technology and health care

Here’s a bit about the app:

For the most part it seemed like the app was pretty cool, and actually helpful. Other than this:

Hmmm, that part didn’t sound so great. So, I had this to say:

So, not a perfect fix for flying fear, but a start anyway. Happy flying!

How To Eat Dinner As a Family…Without Yelling, Screaming or Crying

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Does dinnertime at your house look like this?

Freedom from Want, Norman Rockwell,1943 oil on canvas, Norman Rockwell museum, Stockbridge, Massachusetts

Or like this?

The Scream, 1893 by Edvard Munch

Few of us have the happy, healthy, technology-free family dinners we think we should have. In fact, many families almost never eat at the same table at the same time (let alone eat the same thing). I recently wrote an article over at Produce for Kids about where to start when you’ve never eaten as a family. The prospect can be daunting, so I tried to offer some simple strategies for sharing meals together – and have fun doing it. Check out the full article:

New Year…New You?

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Happy 2017!

I’m not a huge fan of New Years resolutions. But I do think that the start of the year can be a good time to reflect on where we’ve been – and where we’d like to go. We all know that losing weight and being more careful with money are top goals for many. But I think other, more introspective goals are more interesting, impactful and do-able.

Taking note of things like:

  • How you spend your time – and who you spend it with
  • The words you use when talking about yourself and others
  • The way you interact with technology and social media
  • The roles, obligations and jobs you have – and whether they are still a good fit

Considering these and other aspects of life takes a little time and energy – but I think it’s worth it!

I wrote an article over at Produce for Kids about how to make changes that last.  My favorite tip from the article?

Make personally-meaningful goals. We can’t all care about everything. It’s not realistic to expect ourselves to be: never-cheater eaters, marathon runners, ultra-savers, perfect parents, top-notch employees, garden club honorees, award-winning volunteers, Pinterest stars…you get the picture. Instead of trying to be everything everyone else tells you that you should be, focus on being what you want to be. Not only will your goals be more meaningful, you will be more likely to meet them.

Here’s the whole article:

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