Tag: erie psychologist

Are You Addicted to Facebook?

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I recently had a conversation with a colleague about Facebook.  She was wondering why so many of us continue to use Facebook when it makes so many of Screen shot 2013-02-21 at 10.39.48 AMus “crazy.”  And by crazy I mean: frustrated, sad, unworthy, annoyed, angry, jealous, and/or pissed off.  You know what I’m talking about: Facebook use can result in all types of emotions, many of them not so great.  For example, spending just a few minutes looking at my Facebook account this morning resulted in the following emotions:

  • excitement over a friend’s news that she is pregnant with baby #3
  • bewilderment/irritation over a couple distant friends and family member’s persistence in posting potentially offensive religious and political posts
  • jealousy over a friend’s pronouncement that she can still fit into her senior prom dress
  • revulsion/anger at the NY Times article about junk food science making the rounds in social media

So why do we continue to subject ourselves to this? Do we really need this extra stress in our lives? How do we know if we are “addicted*” to Facebook?

Some important questions to ask ourselves:

  • Is my time on Facebook keeping me from fulfilling my other duties in life (taking care of self and/or children, doing my job, etc)
  • Does my time or activity on Facebook cause problems at work?
  • Does my time or activity on Facebook cause problems in my interpersonal relationships?
  • Do I neglect “real” people or responsibilities in order to spend more time on Facebook?
  • Does what I read on Facebook have a significant impact on my mood everyday or most days?
  • Do I ever lie about my Facebook use, or hide it from others?

If you answered “yes” to more than 2 or 3 of these questions, it sounds like your Facebook use has a pretty huge impact on your daily life.  This might not be the best thing for your mental health.  Perhaps it’s time to change the way you use social media, and Facebook in particular.  Stay tuned for tips on how to cut back on Facebook.

*Please note that Facebook Addiction is not an official diagnosis in the DSM-IV (or V as far as I know).  While it is not a “real” diagnosis, over use of Facebook can certainly be detrimental to mental health.

Food and Mood: Why Does Comfort Food Make Us Feel Better?

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A few weeks ago a reporter who I have worked with several times called me up to ask about an article.  The catch was, she didn’t want me to comment on stress management tips or parenting techniques like I usually do – she wanted to talk about comfort foods. “Yahoo! Sign me up!” I said. I love to eat and cook – and what is better than comfort food?  Then she asked if she could come to my house with a photographer to actually watch me make some comfort food of my own! After that, she would sit down with my family and eat with us.  I was so flattered and excited that I literally got tears in my eyes as I agreed.

A few days later the reality set in: I had to cook? In front of a bunch of people? And make my own, original recipe? Yikes.

After taking a family poll, it was agreed that our first choice of comfort food meals is homemade macaroni and cheese.  Our second choice was white chocolate pumpkin bread french toast.  After speaking with the reporter and learning that she had already done a feature on mac and cheese, it was determined that I would make the french toast.

Let me just say this: I have A LOT more respect for people who cook on camera, write cookbooks, and cook for a living. It is hard work! I tried to be as organized as I could before the newspaper entourage arrived (can an entourage be made up of 2 people?) – but still found myself scurrying around the kitchen.  I think I was more nervous for this interview than any others I have done – including the ones on television and live radio.

But, I made it! And the best part was my family and I were able to celebrate the accomplishment with fresh comfort food.  Check out the article here:

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Do I look nervous?

 

This experience was so much fun, it has inspired me to add a new feature to the blog: Food and Mood.  Stay tuned to see what it’s all about.

Book Review: Far From the Tree

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I think there might be something “funny” in the pages of Far From the Tree by Andrew Solomon, because I couldn’t every time I tried to stop reading it, I kept getting pulled back in.  Let me explain…

I first learned of Mr. Solomon’s book while listening to an interview on NPR.  He explained that he had spent several years interviewing families about their children who had a fallen “far from the tree,” meaning they were very different from their parents.  This may have been because of a mental illness (schizophrenia), a physical disability (deafness), or the circumstances surrounding their conception (in rape).  I thought the topic sounded interesting as I frequently work with parents whose children are markedly different.  “Hmmm,” I thought, “I’m sure I can learn a thing or two.” Boy, was that an understatement.

Fast forward a few weeks, and the book arrives for my review, and it is ONE THOUSAND PAGES!  So, even though I make a point to read all my reviews cover to cover, I thought Far From the Tree would be the exception. I thought I’d read the introductory chapter, a few in the middle (the chapters are organized by topic; for example one chapter is on prodigies, another on transgender), and call it good.  It didn’t work out that way. Every time I tried to put the book down, it called to me from my night stand.  Wouldn’t you know, I read the whole thing. No, not read, devoured.  Because here’s the thing: this book is fantastic.

Not only is Far From the Tree superbly written – it was literally a thrill to read the finely crafted words – but the content was outstanding as well.  Mr. Solomon challenges us to think differently about how we love, but also (and in my opinion, even more importantly) how we define and understand disability.  What makes someone normal or abnormal, and who gets to decide these criteria? Psychologists? Law makers? Physicians? Pop culture and media?  These are important conversations, especially as we as an American culture are trying to expand our view of what is acceptable and/or normal, while (hopefully) simultaneously extending legal, healthcare, and other benefits to people who used to be considered well outside of the norm.

Many of the chapters were gut-wrenching, but even through teary-eyes I couldn’t stop reading.  Mr. Solomon’s many interviewees were so candid and thoughtful in the way they described their families and children.  Mr. Solomon obviously went to great lengths to create strong relationships with these families and individuals; he is a gifted man.

I heartily recommend this book.  Pick through it chapter by chapter, or read it in bits and pieces over time.  The messages, the struggles, and the questions posed are important for all of us to consider – whether our children have fallen far from us or not.

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Check out this review on Mr. Solomon's site!

Check out this review on Mr. Solomon’s site!

Thrift Shops and Mental Health

Hello Dr. Stephanie readers! I apologize for being absent for the the last few days.  I am prepping for an exciting event this afternoon! I will be sure to post details after it has happened (and is published!).

My posts so far this year have been pretty serious, so I thought I would keep it lighthearted today – it is Friday after all!  For those DIY’ers out there, you may already be familiar with the blog Young House Love.  It’s a blog written by a young couple as they tackle home projects including construction, decorating, yardwork, etc.  It’s fun to read with lots of cool photos.  Even if you are not a DIY’er it is worth checking out.  Anyway, they posted a thrift shop challenge last week inspired by this song by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis (note: this is the clean version, so may be OK to share with the kiddos in your house):

I am going to forgo my urge to write about the merits of this song (because it encourages originality in dress and thinking, promotes inter-generational understanding, and challenges our materialistic culture that makes us feel as though we need to spend $50 on a t-shirt to be cool).  I am also going to resist writing about the pitfalls of this song (trashy language galore).  Instead I am going to focus on the FUN of it!  It simply makes me smile.

I had a professor in graduate school who frequently warned that “happiness is not a hot dog.”  I’m still – 10+ years later! – trying to figure out what that means, but I think it has something to do with not expecting happiness in things, food, or anything else external.  True happiness comes from within.  That may be, but sometimes silly, funny, and charming things do the trick in the short term.  Those are important pieces of mental health too.

I’m signing off now and keeping the rest of my psychology-heavy thoughts to myself.  Have fun listening, watching and thrifting!

Why Your Best Friend Can’t Be Your Psychologist

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I think I might be inadvertently starting the Dr. Deb fan club.  After reviewing her superb book and interviewing her for a post earlier in the week, I came across this article.  She wrote What to Expect in Psychotherapy for Psychology Today’s blog.  It is seriously THE BEST article I have seen about psychotherapy in a long time – maybe ever.

In her article she writes about the differences between a psychotherapist and a friend (hint: it’s not just the money).  She also highlights the often-forgotten point that participating in therapy can often make you feel worse, not better – at least in the short term.  She also writes about the HARD WORK it takes to be a successful psychotherapy patient, meaning one who is able to achieve the change they seek in their lives.

Sometimes folks seek therapy thinking that their therapist will give them answers, tell them what to do, and be the best friend they may or may not already have.  Dr. Deb reminds us that this isn’t true. Psychologists are well-trained health care providers – “Olympic medal listeners” she calls us.  Therapy can be a long, arduous process.  In fact, we may not always want to go to our psychotherapy appointments (much like we don’t always want to go to the gym, or visit the dentist), but in the end – if we are committed to the process – our health improves as a result.

5 Questions with Dr. Deborah Serani

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A couple of weeks ago I reviewed the book Living with Depression by Dr. Deborah Serani. I thought the book was spot-on in terms of offering a comprehensive look at depression, its causes, its treatments, and what it might be like to live with the disorder in the long term.  The author, Dr. Deborah Serani (who is not only the book’s author, but also a clinical psychologist in private practice, a professor, and a popular blogger – whew!) agreed to answer a few questions for me.  Welcome, Dr. Serani!

Dr. Deborah Serani - psychologist extraordinaire

Dr. Deborah Serani – psychologist extraordinaire

Dr. S:  You include a lot of personal information in this book. Can you talk a little about your decision-making process in terms of including so much detail about yourself? What have been the positive and negative effects of such disclosure?

Dr. D: Society gives permission to high profile people to talk about mental illness, but the waters are still rough for ordinary people to talk about depression. It’s important to be wise and thoughtful about disclosure – and I thought long and hard about sharing my experiences with depression for a few years before actually doing it.  Essentially, it was easier for me to be outspoken about living with depression because I’m my own boss. I have my own practice. I don’t have to worry about some social fallout or losing my job. But there are many people that need to keep certain issues private because stigma still makes living with mental illness a difficult subject to talk about. When making the decision to talk about my life, I knew I had to really lay it all out. I didn’t want to gloss over the despair and the scariness of my depression – or that it was a super easy journey for me to get well. For me, the disclosure has brought very positive experiences. I like seeing how my story inspires others not to be ashamed of their illness, to get help and to have hope. I like teaching misinformed person about the real facts about depression. And nothing makes me feel more proud than when I exceed someone’s expectations of what a person with mental illness should be like.
Dr. S: How does your struggle with depression make you a better psychologist?

Dr. D: You don’t have to live through something to be a good therapist, but living with depression has taught me about how hard it is to endure pain, despair and helplessness. I also know how a good treatment plan and hard work with a therapist can lead to recovery and remission of depression. From knowing both sides of the coin, my experiences have led me to be a more compassionate person, and a more compassionate psychologist.

Dr. S: You have a popular blog, in addition to this award-winning book. Who is your main audience? How do you hope to impact people by your writings?

Dr. D: I started my blog back in early 2004 when blogging first launched, and slowly found it a great way to teach and reach others regarding psychology. I have always written my blog for a general audience, wanting to make sure it wasn’t too clinical or jargon-filled.  Blogging has become less in the forefront for me these days, what with faster social media tools out there like Twitter, Linked In and Facebook.  But as with all my social media, I hope that others take the articles, research and observations I note and use them personally to better their life.

Dr. S: In my blog I write a lot about creative stress management. Whether it’s baking cakes, watching Gossip Girl, or playing backgammon – I believe that there are many avenues to healthy (and effective!) stress management. What do you do to keep stress at bay?

Dr. D: I love how you join creativity with managing stress on your blog. The way that you present these strategies in your posts makes taking care of yourself fun and easy. I am a very creative person too, and I use many fun ways to help soften the hard edges of life. I’m a huge foodie, always trying out new recipes, and cooking and baking to de-stress. I like to play board games with family and friends, the sillier the better. Apples to Apples, Balderdash and Trivial Pursuit always bring the laughs.  I also do a lot of painting, drawing and writing and find those expressive arts a tremendous stress-buster. I love surfing through Pinterest and Indulgy to find motivational sayings, and find the visual aspect of those activities really soothes my soul.

Dr. S: Do you have any new projects in the works? Can we look forward to future books?

Dr. D: I am finishing my second book “How to Parent a Depressed Child,” which will be published in late 2013 by Rowman & Littlefield.  My hope is that it will be a go-to resource for parents who need guidance in raising a child with a mood disorder. Early diagnosis and intervention can make the depressive experience less intense for a child – and well, I’m all over that!

Thanks for your thoughtful answers, Dr. Serani! To order Living with Depression click here.  To read Dr. Serani’s blog, Dr. Deb, go here.

Do I Drink Too Much?

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After reading this post on CNN’s health blog, The Chart, I felt like it was time to write a post about alcohol use.  Alcohol is all around us – print ads, part of TV shows (Mad Men, anyone?), movies.  Not only that, but booze is part of most social events, and liquor stores are on every corner.  It can be easy to look past problematic alcohol consumption and dub it “normal” or “fun.”  And as The Chart’s article points out, it can be easy for even medical professionals to overlook folks with problematic drinking behavior. Screen shot 2013-01-17 at 8.12.04 PM

The CDC lists alcohol consumption as the third-leading cause of preventable death in the United States. A couple of other startling notes by the CDC:

  • On average, for each death due to alcohol, an individual’s life is cut short by 30 years.
  • 79,000 deaths per year are tied to the misuse of alcohol
  • Excessive alcohol use costs the United States about $185 billion each year in health care and criminal justice expenses, as well as lost productivity.

So, how do we know if we are drinking too much?  What makes someone an alcoholic?

The official criteria for alcohol abuse (in the DSM-IV) include things like:

  • Trouble fulfilling your obligations (ignoring kids, missing work deadlines, not showing up for/cancelling appointments or dates)
  • Using alcohol in situations that are hazardous (driving, operating machines)
  • Trouble getting along with others (fighting with partner/kids/parents about drinking too much)
  • Legal problems related to drinking too much (DUI’s, etc)

The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism describes heavy or risky drinking as more than 14 drinks a week for men and more than seven a week for women. When it comes to daily consumption, five or more drinks for men and four or more for women is considered excessive.

Do you think you might have an issue with alcohol? Ready to do something about it? Try SAMHSA’s treatment service locator.  Alcoholics Anonymous is another good option.  You may also want to look at your insurance company’s list of behavioral health providers.  Churches, employee assistance programs, and community centers may also have resources to help.  Effective, low-cost and/or free treatment is available in most areas of the country.  For more information about support and treatment for issues involving alcohol, click here.

Book Review: Living with Depression by Deborah Serani

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It’s not often that I am surprised.  But Dr. Deborah Serani’s book, Living with Depression, did just that – surprised me.  I was expecting a sort of boring book about depression – how it starts, why it ends – but was thrilled to discover (and within the first chapter no less!) something very different about Dr. Serani’s book!  Not only does she write about the topic as a expert in psychology (she’s a psychologist in private practice, as well as a professor), but also from the perspective of someone who has dealt with depression on a very personal level.

There have been other psychologists who have written about their own struggles with mental illness, but I found Dr. Serani’s candid admissions and forthcoming attitude about her mental health history to be not only refreshing but intriguing. I found myself wishing she had written more about herself and her family (full disclosure: While Dr. Serani and I have never met in “real” life, we have had several conversations via social media in the last few years).  And while it’s been done before, integrating personal and professional knowledge about depression made the whole book a quick and informative read.

In addition to recounting her own story, Dr. Serani also does a great job outlining all aspects of depression from the mundane (insurance coverage for treatment) to the academic (how psychiatric medications and psychotherapy actually work), to the most basic (what depression is, exactly).  I was most impressed with her discussion of what psychotherapy is and isn’t, and what one should and should not expect from it.  For example, psychotherapy patients should expect to work hard, be challenged, and make a real commitment to the process.  They should not expect to be given advice, get a “quick fix,” or find meaningful change in their lives without a bit of internal struggle.

I also love that Dr. Serani mentioned some (not very glamorous) but important aspects of treating depression, including getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, engaging in meaningful relationships, exercising, and maintaining a relatively tidy, organized home.  It’s not often that we see these things mentioned as part of an overall plan for the treatment of depression, so I was thrilled to see them get some air time in her book.

Living with Depression is a book that I will be glad to have on my shelf.  I highly recommend it for practitioners and lay people alike.  It is a quick, relatively easy read and individual chapters can serve as references in isolation. Check it out here.

5 Questions with Dr. David Palmiter

A couple of months ago I posted a review of Dr. David Palmiter‘s book, Working Parents Thriving Families.  It’s a great book, and I’m thrilled to have Dr. Palmiter here today to answer a couple of questions! Welcome, Dr. Palmiter!

Dr. S: In your book, Working Parent Thriving Families, you talk quite a bit about your own family. What did your wife and kids think about that? Did they give you any advice when you were writing the book?
Dr. P: I think the only concern they had was whether I’d say something completely idiotic, which they seem to believe is a vulnerability of mine! Seriously, they were okay with what I wrote.Screen shot 2013-01-07 at 2.32.42 PM

Dr. S: Your book includes 10 steps to a happier, healthier family.  If you had to pick THE MOST IMPORTANT one, what would it be?
Dr. P: Chapter One: Special Time. I say this because it is the intervention that most promotes a sense of worthiness in a kid and a sense closeness between a parent and a child; in my travels it is the latter which is especially important to we parent-lunatics.
Dr. S: Are there any steps or strategies you wished you had included but didn’t?
Dr. P: I would probably have said more about bullying, diversity training/dialogue and violence prevention; I seem to be dealing with these issues more and more in my professional life and in what I see in our culture at large.
Dr. S: What are you working on these days? Any new books in the works?
Dr. P: I’m working on a book proposal for teaching graduate students how to do cognitive-behavioral therapy. The working title is “OMG, What Do I Do If My Client                            : A Practical How-To Guide for Doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with Children and Adolescents.”
Dr. S: One of the things I often write about is stress management.  We all know yoga and meditation are great, but I am more interested in unique, creative ways for managing worry.  What do you do to manage the stress in your life?
Dr. P: Scream at TV broadcasts of the Washington Redskins and Baltimore Orioles (the coaches can perhaps hear one, and benefit from one’s counsel, if one is loud enough ;-), play low stakes poker with my boys, use humor whenever and wherever possible and practice magic tricks to show my students and child clients; at the end of the day I’m a huge exhibitionist, so I’m learning to just go with that. lol

Thanks for taking time to answer my questions, Dr. Palmiter! Check out his book here.

Stay tuned for upcoming book reviews! I’ve got a huge stack just waiting to be read, written, and posted! In the meantime, if you have suggestions for me to read and review, please send ideas along!

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What Makes Your Family Unique?

As we launch into the new year, many of us are taking stock of who we are, who we want to be, and what we want out of 2013.  In addition to looking at

I would love to see this family's list about what makes them unique! Photo via ABC News Blogs

I would love to see this family’s list about what makes them unique! Photo via ABC News Blogs

ourselves as individuals, why not take a look at our families too?  No matter the make up or size of your family, it can be useful to define who you are and what makes you unique.

I recently sat down with my family to answer the following question:

What does it mean to be a Smith?

Of course I had some of my own ideas, but what was really fun was hearing what the other members of my family had to say.  One of my favorite answers? Being a Smith means having fun together.

So what makes your family, your family?  Not all families are the same.  What are the priorities in your household?  Some ideas might include:

  • Being respectful of others
  • Playing games together
  • Treating others with fairness
  • Taking care of the environment
  • Laughing everyday
  • Keeping a clean, organized home
  • Being thankful for each other and what you have
  • Participating in religious activities together
  • Exercising and being mindful of health
  • Taking part in new adventures
  • Watching movies
  • Learning about different people and places
  • Reading together
  • Trying out new foods and cooking together
  • Telling jokes and stories to each other
  • Traveling together
  • Serving others in the community

Try spending some time coming up with a list of 5-10 qualities that make up your family.  Post the list where everyone can see them, and work the list into your life.  Being clear about who you are can help with making decisions and defining priorities (including how to spend time, money, and energy).

Happy New Year!