Did you know that digging in the dirt, planting a few flowers or veggies, and turning on the hose is all it takes to improve your mental health?
It’s true!
And it’s the perfect time of year to take advantage of this stress-busting, patience-improving, physically-active hobby. Check out my most recent article over at Produce for Kids to learn more about how digging in the dirt can improve your psychological health:
Are you a procrastinator?
Do you wait until April 15th to file your taxes?
Pay your bills on the day they’re due?
Wait until the very last minute to hand in reports?
Then this article might be for you.
I was recently contacted by a reporter with Public News Service who was working on a story about the Affordable Care Act. He wondered why so many of us wait until the last minute to do things like sign up for health insurance (the deadline for the ACA is April 1). Want to know more? Check it out:
Public News Service March 26, 2013
I recently posted a review of the The Perfect Score Project by Debbie Stier. Read the review here, and learn even more about the book here. Ms. Stier was gracious enough to answer a few questions, here goes:
Dr. S.: Devoting 1 year of your life to studying for, and taking the SAT (7 times!), is a pretty unusual way to spend your time. Did you get some strange comments or questions while you were doing it?
D.S.: Strangely, not that many! Honestly, I expected much more. There was one proctor who whispered, “Are you going back to college?,†and a few kids I knew who actively ignored me during a test, but beyond that — nada. More than “strange comments or questions,†I received a lot of support, which I welcomed! There were a handful of tutors who regularly chimed in with advice on my blog posts, and a lot of students who wrote to me, saying I was motivating them, which kept me going — but not a lot of strange comments or questions (unless you consider these to be strange!).
Dr. S.: I was amazed that you had time to work, take care of your home and kids, all while madly studying for the SAT – how did you manage your time?
D.S.: I’m not going to lie: it was a killer. I got way too little sleep, had little/no social life, and I’m still carting around boxes of “life†that never got done. I aspire to life a “balanced life” some day, though don’t know if that’s in the cards for me for a while. I imagine most mothers face the same challenges.
My trick to “getting things done†is to do the most important thing, first thing in the morning, and the “most important thing†changes daily. For example, there were times when “studying for the SAT†was my #1 to-do, and other times “writing book†was #1, or “write blog post,†or “exercise,†or “pay bills,†etc.
Usually, my “#1 to-do†takes way longer than I anticipate and sometimes I don’t get anything else done that day (e.g. “writing the book†days). But, at least I know — the one thing that needed to get done, got done!
Also, I’m obsessed with “systems†for time management. For most of the year of the project and the two years of writing the book, I kept a time-journal where I wrote down exactly what I did, every single half hour – after I did it. I had my “to do†list, and, a “got done†log.
You’re going to think I’m really insane when I tell you this part, but it’s true.
When I’m really, really pressed to do something, I time myself with an egg timer. For example, I’ll give myself twenty-five minutes to pay the bills (or study algebra or write an essay or a blog post, etc.) and then I’ll set an egg timer and power through until whatever it is, is done. I read about this system on a website called “The Pomodoro Technique” and it really works. (Dr. S.: NO! I don’ think you’re crazy – sounds very clever, actually!)
Dr. S.: Once your SAT year was finished, was there any sort of a let-down? Did you miss it?
D.S.: Well, yes and no. I certainly didn’t feel “done†with the project and I hope to get back to it again some day, but I had so much going on in my life that I never had time to experience any “let-down” feelings. It was more like, “onto the next” — and that, was that.
Dr. S.: In my blog I talk a lot about creative ways to manage stress. We all know yoga and meditation are great, but are there unique ways you manage the stress in your life?
D.S.: Interesting … I use yoga and meditation! I can’t think of anything “creative†beyond that.
Oh, one thing comes to mind (if this qualifies): I watch 1-2 episodes of a funny t.v. show with my kids before bedtime. It’s a ritual I started midway through the project during a crisis, which I wrote about. Television turned things around for us, as crazy as that sounds. We’ve rarely miss a night since that day, midway through the year and sometimes we don’t get to watch until until 11 p.m. or midnight — but the electronics always go off and we laugh together before bed. I’m pretty sure laughing before going to sleep is good for managing stress. (Dr. S.: Love it!)
Dr. S.: What are you working on now? Can we expect a new book in the future?
D. S.: Another book! I have another story about my younger child (not having to do with standardized tests though). I think there are universal themes and truths and I hope it will provide people with information and entertainment. It’s been on the back burner since the publication of The Perfect Score Project, but I plan to get back to it soon. (Dr. S.: Can’t wait to read it!)
Thanks for your thoughtful answers, Ms. Stier!
To learn more about the Perfect Score Project, check out the blog and website.
If you haven’t read Andrew Solomon’s interview with Peter Lanza (which appeared in The New Yorker on 3/17/2014), please take a look:
Andrew Solomon (who I have interviewed on this blog) is a fantastic writer, but more importantly in this case, a champion of parents and children. Mr. Solomon’s book, Far From the Tree, provides poignant, inspiring and heart-breaking descriptions of what it is like to parent children who differ in significant ways from their parents. It was a brilliant decision to have him interview Peter Lanza (Adam Lanza’s father).
In the interview he is caring and supportive, but doesn’t shy away from assigning some blame to Adam Lanza’s parents – after all, every child is a product of their parenting to some degree. But he doesn’t do it in a gossipy, or a finger-pointing way. Instead, he uses the available research on mass killings and mental health (though there is not much to be had), together with the love, pain and misunderstandings between all parents and children to help us comprehend what might have led to the tragedies of Sandy Hook.
I was recently asked to review The Perfect Score Project by Debbie Stier. It’s the true story about a mom who takes the SAT 7 times in one year as a way to help prep her son to take the test himself. I thought the book would be a light-hearted, funny take on the craziness that surrounds standardized testing and college applications. There were moments of that, but more than anything it is a chronicle of Ms. Stier’s study strategies, test-taking experiences and scores.
When I was reading the book, all sorts of memories surfaced. Memories that I didn’t think I even had anymore. Who knew that knowledge of my SAT score was still lodged somewhere in the recesses of my mind? Even more amazing were the memories of the SAT prep course I took in the “big city” over 2 decades ago. It was a pretty amazing journey down memory lane.
Once I got past my own (not so great) memories, I began to look forward, to the SAT prep that awaits my family in the coming years with my own 3 kids. When that time comes I will surely be reaching for The Perfect Score Project to help guide me through the maze of tutors, study guides and courses.
To learn more about the book or to order a copy check out the site here.
Have you heard that the National Day of Un-Plugging starts tonight at sundown and lasts through tomorrow evening? Reboot who, according to their site, has a number of active programs that provide DIY tools for individuals and communities to explore Jewish identity, started the event several years ago – and I LOVE IT!
While I am a big fan of social media (hello, I’m contributing to it right now) I also yearn for the days when our lives were less complicated, less harried and not Facebook-infused. I have chronicled screen-free periods in my life before, so I’m not going to do that today. But what I will do is leave you with a list of things you can do while you are abstaining from technology over the next day or so:
Most of all – enjoy engaging with those around you!
Did you see this recent article in CNN’s The Chart about angry outburts? The author of the study (Dr. Murray A. Mittleman, Harvard) found that people who had angry outbursts were at greater risk for “cardiovascular events” for two hours after the anger episode than those who were calm.
It seems that we are learning more about more about how psychological health affects physical health. For example, we know that stress can affect every system of the body. We also know that depression can take it’s toll on our cardiovascular system, and other areas of the body as well. Now it looks like we can add anger to the list of psychological issues that affect our bodies as well.
This shouldn’t come as too big a shock, of course, because our heads are attached to our bodies – it’s all just one big system!
But how can we manage our anger? Even those of us who don’t consider ourselves “angry people” can struggle with our tempers from time to time. Whether we get mad at our kids, our neighbors or the other drivers on the road – anger can take its toll in lots of ways. Here are some tips to manage:
Get it out. Some people like to talk about it, others like to write about it or sing songs about it. Some way or another the anger needs to come out in safe, controlled ways. Try a few strategies and find one that works for you – just know that bottling it up isn’t usually a good option.
Do something for stress relief, even if you think you don’t need it. We all feel stress from time to time – what’s important is that we have a few strategies for dealing with it. We need to engage in those activities regularly – at least a couple times per week – even if we think we’re too busy or don’t need it. When stress builds, anger isn’t far behind.
Consider changing something. If you find yourself becoming angry at the same things over and over (cars on the highway, a rude neighbor) consider changing your routine. Take a different route to work. Avoid your neighbor at the mailbox. Sometimes even slight changes in routine or behavior can make a big difference.
For more ideas about managing anger and stress, check out the American Psychological Association’s Help Center.
Goodbye (for now) tasty treats!
Even if you don’t know what Lent is or how it relates to Christianity, Jesus or Easter – most folks know that some people “give things up” for the duration of the Lenten season (which is 40 days, by the way – not including Sundays). I’m not an expert on theology or religion, but as an expert in mental health I will say that Lent is good for us. Whether you are religious or not, Lent is the perfect time to take a look at our lives and make some adjustments.
Here’s the deal: Most of us think about how we want to live healthier, more frugally, more whatever around the 1st of the year. We turn these vague notions about healthier living into New Year’s resolutions – even though we know they probably won’t stick. Do you even remember yours? New Year’s resolutions don’t typically work because:
But Lent gives us the perfect situation in which to make changes to our lives:
What are you giving up this year?
Last week I posted a review of Ilyana Romanovsky’s book Choosing Therapy. Today Ms. Romanovsky is here answering 5 questions. Welcome!
Dr. S: You obviously spent a lot of time researching this book as it provides the most thorough description of seeking and participating in therapy that I have ever read. Was there a certain instance or situation that led to you writing this book?
I.R.: The book actually began with patients scheduling appointments, coming in and telling their stories. Many had no idea about the process of therapy or what to expect from a therapist. Many also had negative experiences with therapy, having devoted a lot of time and money to no tangible results. Naturally, some stories were probably among the most emotionally grueling experiences I had heard, with people investing a fortune into psychotherapy and coming out of the experience having gained very little, feeling demoralized and believing that they were beyond help. It was humbling and horrifying to realize that the stories some patients recounted left them questioning the efficacy behind psychotherapy. Some even walked away sure of their own personal failures at being unable to achieve results they wanted.
So why did I set out to write Choosing Therapy? In part, because after one particular intake, my patient suggested that someone should write a book to educate the consumer about the process of psychotherapy, so that everyone is in a position to make an informed decision about therapy and the type of treatment that they are seeking. But the other reason I wanted to write the book is because I know what it is like, as a consumer, to want to dip my toe into something new without understanding the process, and feeling the need for a book, a class or advice that could guide me through the maze of a new venture.
Dr. S: What got you interested in the mental health profession in the first place?
I.R.: The road to a mental health career was a lengthy one for me. Originally, I had started out as a biologist at the University of Chicago, aspiring to become an M.D. As I spent months and years in hospitals and labs conducting clinical research and interacting with patients, I realized that what I wanted to do most was help people figure out how they could manage better the parts of their lives that were not working well, and move them towards a more satisfying place. On a more selfish note, I also enjoy working for myself, and knew early on that I wanted autonomy and ability to see clinical treatment through from beginning to end in an outpatient, private practice setting.
Dr. S: There is a lot of information in your book, if there is one thing – the most important tip – you would like your readers to take away from it, what would that be?
I.R.: One thing? No way. I would recommend the reader approach the process of psychotherapy the same way one would approach looking for a job. It is a personal journey that requires research, interviews and a well thought out treatment plan with your therapist as to how you will accomplish your objectives. Let me put it this way, plopping on the couch and hoping that the first therapist you meet will facilitate the process of treatment in such a manner that you can relate to, is almost unrealistic. Psychotherapy in my mind is the most inner-personal journey one can take with another, and requires a meticulous, well-informed approach.
Dr. S: I often write about stress and creative ways to manage it. We all know about yoga, taking walks, etc…but what are some of the more creative ways you manage your stress?
I.R.: Amazingly, through writing. There are only a few things that I enjoy more than writing. At times, I need it the same way I need food for energy. It can even be a preventative for managing my own sadness or stressors with life. Interestingly enough, I began writing Choosing Therapy after a difficult life transition, and can say without a doubt that writing helped me stay energized, be creative and play around with ideas in my head that I then got to share with others. Ideas are not always flowing and that can be frustrating, which is why I also enjoy hiking, mountain biking and running. Some form of physical exercise is important to me as a tension release when by world of ideas is on pause.
Dr. S: What are you working on now? Any new books in the works?
I.R.: I am tossing a few things over in my head and will probably write again fairly soon.  When I juggle the next project in my mind, I have to push forward and rewind a number of times before I have a good story or an idea. I figure out what I need to know research wise, and gear up for the next adventure. I will start writing when I have a great book cover design or a catchy first line. In the meantime, I am busy working through the licensure process and delineating my interests to obtain a research PhD in the field.
To learn more about Choosing Therapy, check it out here.
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Photo by Keds
Looks like Keds and Taylor Swift are on the Girl Power bandwagon along with Covergirl. I love Taylor (and Keds are pretty cute, too) and even though I’m not sure that dying one’s hair a new color counts as “brave” I still like the message. Take a look:
Everyone’s mental health, self esteem and confidence improves when we encourage each other to aim high and be who we truly are.
Missed my last post about girl power? Check it out here.
#girlpower
