Making the decision that it’s time to see a psychologist can be a tough one.  Deciding who to see can be even more difficult.  I have written previously on both of these topics.  Last week I blogged about the next step – your first appointment. Specifically, I made some suggestions about what to bring.

Over the weekend I did some more thinking about that topic.  In addition to the items I have already mentioned (insurance card, form of payment, pen and paper, water, etc) another important thing to bring to your first session are questions for your psychologist.  Specifically:

1. Do you have experience treating people similar to me?

2. How often do you typically see people (i.e. once per week, twice per week, every month?)

3. Can you estimate about how long I might be in treatment? (This can be a tough question to answer but worth asking nonetheless)

4. Is there anything I can do to help make treatment more effective? Books I might read, movies I might watch (I recommend movies all the time!), TV shows that might help me (Hoarders is an example of a past recommendation).

5. How can I most easily contact you if necessary? (I like email for business-type questions and  appointment changes. I prefer phone calls for anything clinical in nature.)

Any good questions I missed? Or other things to bring to a first appointment that you can think of?

As the new school year begins, many families have discussions about new rules, curfews, chores – and often – technology.  In my office I hear a lot of kids start conversations like:

“Mom, don’t you know that ALL 6th graders have a Facebook accounts!!”

or

“Dad, how am I going to know what is going on with my friends if I’m not on Facebook?!?”

As parents we are challenged to keep up with technology and its significance in our children’s lives.  And before we answer “NO WAY!” or “Sure” to our kids’ requests for a Facebook (or other social networking site) account, I think it is important that we think carefully and talk thoughtfully about the question at hand.

The On-Line Mom (one of my favorite sites for parents) recently wrote a blog article about the pros and cons of Facebook for kids.  They outlined some great points about the importance of technology in kids’ lives, as well as the dangers.  With their points in mind, and understanding that each family needs to make their own decisions about the role of social media, here are some guidelines to help determine if your child is ready to enter the world of social networking:

• Computer literacy. While most tweens and teens I know have far more knowledge about computers than I do – not all are tech savvy – and Facebook is not the place to learn.  Make sure your child knows their way around a computer and the internet before opening an account.
• Open communication. Parents should feel confident that their relationship with their child is on solid ground before an account is opened.  Why is a good relationship important? Because open, honest, and frequent communication between you and your child is critical during their use of Facebook.  Parents should be assured that their child will feel comfortable coming to them with problems or questions if they arise.
• No pressure. Most of us parents are guilty, at one time or another, of giving in to our child’s wishes to look cool, make up for a slight, or get them to like us better.  This might be ok in some situations (making their favorite cookies, taking them to yet another vampire movie) but it is definitely not OK in this situation.  As noted above, each family has to come to this decision on their own – coercion should not be a factor.
• Right vs. wrong. Before opening a Facebook account, children should be able to discuss with their parents appropriate (and destructive) on-line behavior.  Kids (and parents) should understand the impact of bullying, friending, and talking to strangers on-line.  Facebook and internet etiquette should be understood by everyone involved.
• Set guidelines. One of the last steps that parents and children should take before setting up a Facebook account, is to set up guidelines or rules for use.  Will there be set times for Facebook use?  Will mom or dad have to approve friends along with their child?  How often will parents monitor their child’s use?  What types of things are appropriate to include on a status update?  At what point will Facebook use be suspended?

Stay tuned for my upcoming post:  Am I Ready to Have a Child on Facebook?

I have admitted it before, and I will do it again – I am one of John Mayer’s 3.4 million followers on Twitter.  When he was at his tweeting heyday, I enjoyed reading his sometimes crude, often sarcastic, and occasionally outrageous tweets.  While he will still be entertaining us through his well-established blog on tumblr, I will miss seeing him on Twitter.

One of the things that made Mr. Mayer’s tweets so interesting was that they gave us a glimpse into his life – one that most of us could hardly dream about.  Dating superstars, hanging out with music legends – who wouldn’t be interested in hearing the back story of a life like that?

Whether it is following celebrities on Twitter, reading Us Weekly, or watching Entertainment Tonight (or doing all three!) being voyeurs into the lives of Hollywood’s hottest serves as a legitimate stress management strategy for some, and pure entertainment for many.  I know my Mondays would be much more dreary if I didn’t have my favorite celebrity magazine to look forward to in the mailbox!

For those not in the know, MTV aired their annual awards show last night, the VMA’s.  Since 1984 this celebration of music and music videos has been one of the highlights of the year for pop culture aficionados.

I have written in other blogs about the benefits of going without TV, and have also written about how to keep our kids safe from the sexualized images we see on TV daily.  But I also get a lot of joy and entertainment from watching popular culture play out around me.  And not only do I think pop culture (meaning TV, music, books, movies, and other media and fads) is fun, but I also think it is important to be aware of the goings-on of the “cool kids” of the world so that I can better relate to my own children, my clients, my neighbors, and friends.

For several generations, kids and young adults have, at least in part, defined themselves by the culture in which they surround themselves.  The popular songs, the hip dance styles, the cool clothes.  What I thought was cool as a teen (grunge) is definitely not cool now.  So I believe it is important, as an adult, to be aware of what is currently cool.  It doesn’t mean I have to like it, listen to it, or even participate in it – but it helps me understand what is important to the younger people in my life – and maybe (I can only hope) – helps me stay relevant in their eyes as well.

So even if you are well past your teens, don’t be ashamed of getting caught up in Bieber Fever, admiring Lady Gaga‘s meat dress, or counting down the days until the second season of Glee begins.  Who knows, if you become knowledgeable enough, your tween kids might even think you’re rad.