Failure is a Good Thing

Photo via: loyal_oak

I wrote a post over at Your Mind. Your Body. earlier this week about some new research just released from the American Psychological Association.  For someone like me – an anti-perfectionist (slacker? lover of mistakes? fan of failure?) the news was great.  In a nutshell the French researchers found that children who struggled, failed, and squirmed their way through tough academic assignments performed better on subsequent academic tasks.  The authors concluded that struggle and failure in school is actually a good thing in terms of future performance. What a relief!

I am so pleased to hear this because I am a big fan of flailing and failing, and making mis-steps and mistakes.  Perhaps it’s because I have made so many of them myself over the years, or maybe it’s because perfection simultaneously intimidates and bores me.  Either way,  I’m always looking for reasons to avoid it (perfectionism) and embrace the opposite.

So what can we take from this research?

The math homework doesn’t need to be done to perfection every night to get something out of it

Having some cooking disasters shouldn’t keep us from continuing to bake

Letting our kids watch us fail, may help them learn to fail with grace and humor – which may actually benefit their school performance down the road

For more tips about how to make use of this study, check out my post: Learning is Hard and That’s OK

Talking to Your Kids About the School Shooting

I got so teary this morning watching the coverage of the school shooting in Ohio.  Sad for the victims, sad for the survivors, sad for the families, and sad for the gunman and his family.  It is tough to make sense of such violence, and tough too not to fear for the safety of the children in our own lives.  I wonder what it would be like to be a kid watching the news about such events as the shooting in Ohio?  While I felt the shock and grief over the shootings at Columbine High School (not far from where I was in graduate school at the time), I wasn’t a child.  Would my feelings have been different if I had been 8 or 12 or 16, knowing that the place I spent 7 hours each day could come under a similar attack?  Do kids these days (post-Columbine, post-911) feel safe at school like I did decades ago, or is that sort of security a thing of the past?

The American Psychological Association (APA) has posted some great tips on talking to your kids about these sorts of topics.  It can feel intimidating to talk about such things, but it is well worth the effort.  Kids almost always have thoughts about the events going on around them, and frequently have more insight, ideas, and solutions than we might guess.

Here are a few tips offered by APA:

  • Find times when they are most likely to talk: such as when riding in the car, before dinner, or at bedtime.
  • Start the conversation; let them know you are interested in them and how they are coping with the information they are getting.
  • Listen to their thoughts and point of view; don’t interrupt–allow them to express their ideas and understanding before you respond.
  • Express your own opinions and ideas without putting down theirs; acknowledge that it is okay to disagree.
  • Remind them you are there for them to provide safety, comfort and support. Give them a hug.

For the full tip sheet and more ideas about talking to kids in the aftermath of a school shooting, click here.

Communicating with Your Child’s Teachers

Today’s post is written by Bonnie Leaf, MA.  Ms. Leaf is a special education teacher and owner of Access to Achieve an education services consulting firm outside of Denver, CO.  Ms. Leaf’s post is part of this week’s series on student information systems.

As a parent and educator, I have a unique perspective on Infinite Campus and how it can be used to its fullest potential.  Here’s the tough part: Infinite Campus (IC) does not come with a user’s manual.  It is up to parents to learn how to use it as a tool to keep as up-to-date as possible with how their child is doing in school.  Here are some basics and strategies I have learned over the years:

Have a user name and password.  By October, most schools have helped parents set up their username and password, and have showed them how to access IC.  If you haven’t done this, contact your child’s school and set up your account.  By the way, your child should have their own username and password to access the system, too.

Image by Thisischris.com

Check IC weekly.  Teachers typically ask that parents set a routine for checking grades about once weekly with their child.  Since your child knows the most up-to-date information, it is best to review grades with him or her so that you get the correct information.  There is usually a story to be told within a weekly grade report and your child can tell that story.  If you want to know how your child is doing aside from a grade, ask questions and don’t jump to conclusions.  Some classes do not lend themselves to entering new grades weekly or bimonthly.  Art, for example, could be based more on long term projects.

Understand how a grade book is divided into different sections and how each section is assigned a weighted percentage of the total grade.   Teachers assign a title and weighted percentage to each section of their grade book.  Summative assessments like projects and tests are usually assigned more weight than classwork and homework.  If your child’s teacher lists homework as part of a grade, know if the grade is for completion only or if it is graded for correctness.  The category and weight of a section tells a story as well.  The value of an assignment, test, quiz, or project lets you know where the emphasis lies.

Know how to read and interpret IC.  Teachers often enter the name of an assignment on the grade book yet leave the grade space blank if that assignment has not been completed or graded.  If an assignment is missing, some teachers will write “M,” “Missing,” “O,” or leave a blank space where the grade should be.  Ask your child and/or teacher for clarification.

Look for patterns.  Assignments, such as current events; or quizzes, such as spelling, can tell a story.  Look beyond the grade to see how your child is preparing for the weekly assignments and quizzes.  Over time, your child should be developing a system  that becomes more efficient as the year progresses.  If your child continues to get the same grade weekly (or they get worse), examine the system with your child and help them tweak it for better results.

Avoiding Schoolwork Battles

Today’s post is written by Dr. Bridget Engel, clinical psychologist in Erie, CO.  Dr. Engel specializes in working with children, families, and couples.  She is also the author of Counselor’s Corner, a mental health blog.  Dr. Engel’s post is part of this week’s series on student information systems.  

Here we are.  We are already a month plus into school.  The new-ness of the school year is starting to wear off and most everyone is settled into the familiarity of fall.  And I have already spoken with parents who’ve had to wage war with their son or daughter about missing assignments and poor grades.  That’s an age old conflict that goes back many generations.  What’s new is that many of these parents now have access to Infinite Campus technology, hosted through their school district, to stay up-to-date and informed about their child’s academic progress.

Image by Thisischris.com

While Infinite Campus and other tech-based information tools are wonderful in allowing parents to stay engaged in their child’s education, many parents I’ve talked to describe emotional arguments with their kids sprinkled with excuses, debates about it’s accuracy, and circular clashes about how recently it’s been updated by various teachers.  So are you ready to reduce the family feud about homework and missing assignments?  Here are some things to think about:

● Infinite Campus is technology, and only that.  It doesn’t replace a relationship built with your child’s teacher.  Your child’s teacher is the one that spends seven hours a day with your son or daughter.

● Your kid may be right.  Academic databases are often incorrect.  Don’t forget that there is an overwhelmed person behind Infinite Campus who is busy teaching your child.  Sometimes they don’t get all the grades entered.  Be careful about wearing your combat gear at the front door waiting for your child to come home, armed only with what you’ve seen on the computer.

● Be careful about becoming dependent on computer-based technology as your academic babysitter.  Whether your child has missing assignments or not, technology does not replace real life skills.  If your child is struggling to get homework completed or turned in, focus instead on teaching your child how to become more organized, self-sufficient, and independent.

● Watch for warning signs that you are power struggling with your kids about school assignments and grades, especially if it is happening frequently.  Do not get lulled into thinking that lecturing your child or monitoring every move from Infinite Campus is helping them.  Lecturing helps parents feel better;  It very rarely creates behavior change in kids.  Challenge yourself to step back and examine your approach, your goals and your values.

● Think about the whole, rather than the parts.  It’s easy to get focused on the small details and converge on every single assignment.  Would you want your boss to examine and challenge you on every single paper that crossed your desk at work?  Few people grow when micro-managed.  Highlight the end product instead.  Your child is an individual and may do things differently than you.  As long as they are learning something throughout the year and earning acceptable grades, perhaps it’s ok to remark about those missing assignments but refrain from waging war at the dinner table because the Huckleberry Finn poem didn’t get turned in.

Managing Your Student’s Information

Image by ThisisChris.com

Welcome to Student Information Systems Week! This week we are going to be hearing from experts on how to manage your student’s grades through the online programs many schools are now using.  In my neck of the woods, everyone seems to be using Infinite Campus.  Boy do I hear a lot about it in my neighborhood, on the street, and in my office.  Some folks love this technological tool that allows parents and students to view teachers’ grade books in real time.  Others feel that the technology is just another way for “helicopter parents” to keep tabs on their kids.  I’m not sure where I stand at this point in the week, but I do know that I see a lot of conflict between parents and kids around Infinite Campus use.

Do you have an opinion about this technology?  Are there ways to use it well?  Poorly?  I would love to hear your point of view!