Category: Pop Culture

Glee, Twilight, Harry Potter and Stress Management

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This week I have been talking about the chronic economic stress many of us have been under for the past 3+ years. Yesterday I wrote about the importance of taking action – actually doing something – as an essential part of maintaining mental health through tough times.  Today, I have another tip: maintain a rich fantasy life.  This may seem a little silly on the surface, but as you look around you will notice that many of us are already doing it.  Ever wonder why this story took the world by storm:

Image: Warner Bros Pictures

What about this one?

Image: Stephenie Meyer

It’s not just that J.K. Rowling is a brilliant storyteller, or that Edward Cullen is super-dreamy, it’s also that escaping our individual realities – whatever they may be – is a great way to manage stress.  And thanks to the internet, many of us have almost constant, immediate access to whichever fantasies make us forget the woes of the day.

Now, I’m not suggesting we should duck our responsibilities and spend our days obsessing over the new Twilight movie:

or memorizing the moves of a certain Glee star:

But what I am suggesting is that a little escapism can be good for the mind and body – particularly when the stressors in life become hard to bear.

So whether it’s:

or

Image: Magic the Gathering

Let your imagination run wild and know that it’s time well spent.

Profanity in the Media Can Lead to Profanity in Real Life

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Did you the recent study finding that teens’ exposure to profanity on television can lead to increased profanity use in their own lives?  The study also found the same correlation with aggression, both physical (hitting, kicking) and relational (gossiping).  The study was published in the journal Pediatrics.

The Chart, one of my favorite medical blogs also wrote a piece about the article, in which they interviewed one of the authors, Dr. Sarah Coyne.  She concluded that in light of this study, parents need to be “a little bit more aware” of what their kids are watching.

To this I just have to say: “duh.”  Sorry for the not-so-scientific and not-particularly-professional word, but come on!  Of course parents need to be super vigilant about what kinds of media their kids are consuming.  And while I am appreciative of the study and its findings, did any of us really doubt that what children (and adults for that matter) watch affects their behavior?

I have written before about the difficulty I have had in finding appropriate things for my children to watch.  There seem to be fewer and fewer programs that are free of the things I don’t want (profanity, violence, sarcasm, entitlement, rudeness, disrespect) and full of the things I do want (humor, positive relationships, strong characters) and are at the same time entertaining.

Since my last post on the topic I have heard from several folks with suggestions on fun, entertaining programming that can be shared with the entire family.  Some ideas (thanks readers!):

American Idol

Family Ties

Family Matters

Growing Pains

“Vintage” cartoons (Scooby-Doo, Jetsons, Flintstones, Smurfs, Looney Tunes)

Supernanny

Sporting events (football, baseball, etc)

Wild Kingdom (or other shows about animals and nature)

Want some more ideas? Head over to Common Sense Media for tips and ratings on all sorts of media outlets and how to incorporate them into your family’s life in healthy ways.

Asperger’s Disorder and Glee

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The on-line world is a-buzz with the recent addition to the Glee cast: Sugar Matta – a high schooler “self-diagosed” with Asperger’s Disorder.  It seems that many Asperger’s and Autism advocates are taking offense to the way Glee is portraying the disorder (see Marfan Mom’s post and Full Soul Ahead’s complaints).  There are others who believe Sugar’s character is funny and should be taken in a humorous way (see Glee’s own community forum).

My thoughts? I think mental health problems, issues, and disorders can be presented in a light-hearted manner.  They can even be talked about in humorous ways.  In fact, I think humor is a great way to get important information across, normalize different conditions, and just make things plain fun.  The sticking point is that the information MUST be accurate and sensitive to the individuals affected.  My concern with Glee and Sugar Matta is that the portrayal of Asperger’s is poorly informed, potentially insensitive, and wrong.

So what is Asperger’s anyway?

Asperger’s is a disorder that people are born with, meaning you can’t “catch it” or develop it as an adult.  Some people talk about Asperger’s as being on the “Autism Spectrum” meaning that it has quite a few similarities to Autism.

Here are some traits typically seen in people who are diagnosed with Asperger’s.  By the way, self-diagnosis doesn’t really count.  Mental health professionals (like psychologists or psychiatrists) are typically the ones who make these types of diagnoses:

Difficulty interpreting non-verbal cues/behaviors in others (facial expressions, body language). For example, not understanding that when someone is backing away that means they are likely finished talking with you.

Trouble making friends with peers.

Lack of interest in making friends or sharing experiences with others. 

Trouble with the give and take necessary for a successful relationship.  For example, difficulty taking turns, sharing, or seeing another person’s point of view.

Repetitive patterns of behavior or activities.  For example, playing with the same toy train in the same way for many hours over many days.

Expressing overly focused interest in things that are unusual.  For example, a 10 year old boy spending lots of time (to the exclusion of other things) listening to and learning about the Spice Girls.

Adherence to routines or rules that might not make sense to others.  

Repetitive movements.  For example, arm flapping.

Intense interest in parts of objects (rather than the whole object).  For example, the screws on a skate board.

I hope the folks over at Glee take the time to listen to the public’s concerns and make Sugar’s character more reflective of what Asperger’s is really about.  They’ve done a great job helping normalize Down’s Syndrome with Becky’s character.  Let’s see if they’re up to the challenge with Sugar, too.

 

Teen Depression and Glee

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Photo by: Glee on Fox

Yippee! Yahoo! Hooray! Glee is back for Season 3! And now that I have done my “research” for this post by watching the episode several times, I am ready to write something about the season premiere.

While I enjoyed the song selection, the number featuring Blaine, and the look of the purple pianos in last week’s episode, what really got me was the transformation of Quinn’s character.  It’s not just that I have a fondness for pink hair (I really do!), but I was both relieved and energized to see the writers doing something different with her character.  In case you don’t remember, Quinn has been through a lot in 2 years: she got pregnant, was kicked out of her house, gave her baby up for adoption, and had her heart broken by longtime boyfriend, Finn.  It was also revealed that she had a childhood history of weight problems and had plastic surgery as a youngster.  Finally, in this episode Quinn is appearing to deal with these events as many of us would: with psychological and emotional turmoil.

We have yet to learn if Quinn is actually depressed (dying one’s hair isn’t necessarily a sign of depression), but here are some things we can look out for as the season progresses to help us know for sure.  These are also good warning signs for the real teens in your life:

Change in interests.  Kids that used to love glee club, soccer, or chess may no longer be interested/find pleasure in these things.  It’s normal for kids’ interests to change over time, it’s concerning when the change is drastic and sudden.

Isolation.  Is your child spending more and more time alone in their room?  Is he turning down invitations from friends, or have the invitations stopped altogether? It’s time to step in.

Poor confidence.  Unfortunately, adolescence does a number on most kids’ confidence levels.  However, if your child seems to be suffering from particularly low self esteem, such that it makes it tough for them to do things (socialize, complete school work, try new things), it might be a warning sign.

Substance use. Many of us equate experimentation with alcohol and tobacco with the teen years.  However, if your child is using substances regularly (like once a week), it could be a sign that they are struggling with their mood and looking for ways to cope.

Changes in eating or sleeping.  Eating and sleeping too much or too little can be a warning sign that something has changed in your child’s psychological health.  Sleeping late one morning isn’t a big deal, not being able to get out of bed for 2 or 3 days is.

Irritability.  None of us are pleasant all the time, and it is a teen’s job to question adults’ decisions and figure out boundaries.  However, if your teen has recently become unusually irritable or angry, lashes out verbally or physically, or is unable to enjoy people and activities she used to because of the irritability, this could be a warning sign of depression.

Thoughts of harm.  If your teen even hints at a thought of wanting to harm themselves, or if you find any blogs/posts/tweets/updates suggesting a desire to die, stop living, or “end things” it is time to take action immediately.  It is better to be safe in these situations, so if you suspect your child is having suicidal thoughts of any kind, take them to the emergency room right away.

 

Glee Wins at The Voice Awards

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Peter Krause was the host of the 2011 Voice Awards Photo by: SAMHSA

Have you heard of the Voice Awards?  Here’s a description:

Sponsored by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), and Center for Mental Health Services, the Voice Awards honor consumer/peer leaders who have played a vital role in raising both awareness and understanding of behavioral health (mental health and/or addiction issues) and promoted the social inclusion of individuals with behavioral health problems. Through their exemplary leadership and advocacy, they demonstrate that recovery is real and that individuals with behavioral health problems are valuable, contributing members of their schools, workplaces, and communities.

This year the focus of the awards program was recovery from trauma, and the ceremony was held last night.  While just a teeny bit disappointed that I didn’t get to go and cover the red carpet (dang it!), I am thrilled that Glee won an award for its portrayal of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).  As a gleek, I couldn’t be happier for the show.  Check out my post on Glee’s portrayal of Ms. Pillsbury’s OCD.

Check out more of the winners at last night’s Voice Awards.  Mad Men, another favorite of mine, is among the honored.  Sally’s treatment with a psychologist may just be in my blogging future.

In honor of Glee’s award, here’s the trailer from their new season starting next month:

Sympathy for the Hot Sauce Mom?

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Have you heard the story about the mom who poured hot sauce into the mouth of her 7 year old adopted son?  I first read about it a few months ago, and the story is resurfacing again as the legal battle heats up.  If you aren’t familiar with the story of the mom, her family, and The Dr. Phil Show, check it out here.   And if you want to watch the video of the mom (Jessica Beagley) actually inflicting the punishment, here it is:

So, what do I have to say about this incident?  To be honest, I’m not sure.  The prosecutors sure paint an ugly picture of Ms. Beagley as a mom hungry for notoriety on a reality show, and willing to do anything to get it.    The defense wants the jury to see her as a stressed out, desperate mother of 6, doing what she could to get help from the country’s most infamous psychologist.  I don’t know who to believe, but a couple things seem certain:

1.  There are lots of folks who are willing to do lots of crazy things to get on TV.  Whether the intentions are good (win a million dollars, find true love, get free parenting advice), or not so good (destroy the reputation of a colleague) this sets up a slippery slope of stupid, and sometimes even dangerous behavior.  Perhaps we all need to re-think our obsession with reality TV and the drama it invites.

2.  Parenting is super hard.  Parenting children with special needs is even harder.  While it is never OK to abuse or torture children, we must have sympathy and understanding for parents who are pushed to their limits.  Furthermore, affordable, user-friendly parenting resources need to be closer to home than in the LA studios of The Dr. Phil Show.

What are your thoughts about this disturbing story?

Save the Strong, Smart Man!

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Photo by: Jason Edward Scott Bain

When reading this recent post on CNN’s The Chart I started thinking about men and boys in a new light.  CNN’s article was about some new research suggesting that testosterone levels in men has decreased in recent decades.  They also mentioned that male birth rates have been declining in some populations.  The authors speculated that environmental exposures might be the reason.  What I started thinking was: how is American culture and media affecting men and boys?

I am a woman and I have daughters, so I typically think and write about how the world is affecting females.  But that is pretty one-sided of me.  Just as important to societal health is how men and boys are being portrayed in the media and treated in real life.  We’ve all heard about ADHD and autism being more prevalent in boys, and the current educational system being more conducive to female rather than male minds.  But what I am focused on is how pop culture is portraying the roles of men.  And it isn’t pretty.

I’m thinking of the lunchmeat (or was it cellphone?) commercial where the woman is making lunch.  She yells for her male mate to come to the table.  She calls him multiple times to come to kitchen with no luck.  Finally she resorts to texting him a picture of his waiting sandwich.  Seeing it, he quickly comes to the table to eat.  Just like a hungry dog.  Is this really the type of male partner we want our boys (and girls) to see?  One that responds only when his most basic needs are being met?  Why not show the couple working together as a team to make lunch while having a smart discussion?  For a list of more male-bashing commercials check out AskMen.com’s Top Ten List.

When I’ve talked to other folks about this phenomena, I’ve been reminded of the many TV programs that portray men as bumbling, selfish, and irritable people.   The Simpsons, Family Guy, and even Friends have done the men and boys in our lives a disservice.  What role models are we giving our boys to look up to?  Where are the strong, smart, capable, and responsible males being highlighted and celebrated?

I am on the lookout for strong male figures in our culture.  Ideas?

Kids and TV – What to Watch?

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On a recent family vacation I was forced had the opportunity to watch TV with my kids more than usual.  I was appalled at what I saw.

My ideas about TV might be a little different than others.  I’ve written before that I let my kids (ages 5 and 7) watch Glee with supervision.  The sex, drinking, homosexuality and other mature topics don’t bother me.  Why?  Because my kids come across these issues in their everyday lives, why not be sitting right next to them when the topics arise?  Of course I have my limits.  For example, I recently thought it would be fun to watch Grease with my oldest.  Luckily I pre-screened the movie.  Though I have seen the movie literally hundreds of times, I never watched it through my “mom eyes.”  I’m so glad I did!  The constant sexual innuendos and smoking were just too much for a 7 year old brain to understand.  Maybe in a few years.

The TV programs on my Do Not Watch list are the ones dripping with disrespect and sarcasm.  Before my trip I thought I had screened all the kids’ shows which portray ungrateful, entitled youth.  Namely, the shows on the Disney Channel (i.e., Hannah Montana).  These and similar shows literally make my stomach turn.  The way the kids talk to their parents, siblings, and each other is shocking.  Sarcasm is such a nasty form of humor – do we really need to teach it to our kids before they are out of grade school?

During my trip I noticed sarcasm and disrespect in other shows, too.  Sponge Bob Square Pants and Johnny Test to name a couple of my kids’ favorites.  I started to wonder, what could they watch that would be consistent with the values of our family?  What would be entertaining for them (they have moved past Dora and Bob the Builder) but consistent with what we are trying to teach them at home?  I am open to suggestions!  In the meantime I have settled on the following programs:

The Smurfs - One of my old faves made relevant by the new movie. Photo by: Coolspotters.com

19 Kids and Counting: My kids love this show, luckily it is all about the importance of family. Photo by TLC

Any show about making cakes, like TLC's Cake Boss Photo by TLC

What great shows am I missing?  I know there are other families out there struggling with the same questions.  What do you encourage your kids to watch?

Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and Psychological Health

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Three days ago, President Obama certified a repeal of the “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy that banned homosexuals from openly serving in the US military.  While I had heard how this repeal might benefit the US Armed Forces as a whole, I wondered how it might help the men and women in uniform in particular.  I discovered that the American Psychological Association (APA) has supporting lifting the ban for quite some time.  In fact, APA has quite a history in supporting equal rights for homosexuals.  Read more about APA’s stance on homosexuality here.

I also asked a friend and colleague of mine, Dr. Sarah Burgamy to help me understand more about the psychological impact of the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.  Dr. Burgamy is president-elect of the Colorado Psychological Association, and founder of PhoenixRise, a mental health clinic specializing in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender/gender variant identity issues.  Here’s what she had to say:

The repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (DADT) is critical to the psychological health and well-being of both military members and the general population.  The repeal of DADT will lift a significant burden for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual (GLB) service members.  GLB people have always served in our armed forces; DADT placed an undue burden on them to hide a large part of their basic human identity.  Sexual orientation includes not only a person’s intimate behavior; but also emotional attraction, attachment, the ability to partner with another in a loving relationship recognized by others, one’s sense of self, and the ability to be seen as a full human being.  A significant portion of our lives is spent in relationship with others.  For GLB service members, DADT required them to deny the existence of critical relationships, prohibited their ability to obtain support openly when relationship stress was encountered, and forced them to provide a dishonest portrayal of their character through omission or denial.  The repeal of DADT provides GLB soldiers with a sense of equality for their sacrifice, hard work, and dedication to the safety and prosperity of the United States.  

Non-military families and individuals benefit from the repeal of DADT because any repeal of policies or laws which discriminate against GLB people should be regarded as a step towards a more inclusive society.  GLB people are bombarded with messages which convey a sense of rejection simply for being sexual minorities.  DADT, the Defense of Marriage Act, and marriage and civil union prohibitions in the majority of U.S. states send a collective message that GLB Americans are inferior members of our nation.  The repeal of DADT comprises one step in a long process of seeking equality.  Psychologically speaking, the costs of discrimination to emotional health and well-being are great and should be dismantled and avoided.  This repeal is an important and necessary step in  the recognition of GLB people as full members of American society.

Thank you, USA Women’s Soccer!

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Photo via: Top U.S. Post.com

What a fun ride it has been watching the USA Women’s Soccer Team play in the World Cup the last couple of weeks.  I was so moved by the experience of watching these exceptional women, that I wanted to say a public “thank you” to the team.

Thank you, Team USA for giving us something positive to focus on in the midst of the bad news that surrounds us everyday.  Floods, droughts, murders – sometimes the news around us causes me to question the state of our country and world.  You gave us a reprieve from all that negativity and in return, something to smile about.

Thank you, Team USA for working together, as a team.  As we watch with frustration (and sometimes anger) at our representatives in Washington, D.C. and their inability to compromise, use teamwork, and just plain get along – it is refreshing to see a group of professionals do it with apparent ease.  And without complaint.

Thank you, Team USA for showing our sons and our daughters what it means to be strong, smart women with purpose.  In a time when our young girls feel pressure to be sexy, and believe that true happiness comes only after Prince Charming arrives – you are just the role models we need to show us a healthier way.

Thank you, Team USA for losing to Japan yesterday.  Sure it was disappointing, but in that loss you reminded all of us that things don’t have to turn out “perfectly” to be fun and worthwhile.  You also showed us how to lose gracefully and with class – a lesson many of us can stand to learn over and over again.