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Facebook: Good or Bad for Self Esteem?

9 Apr

I was recently interviewed for this story in the Philadelphia Inquirer about whether and how Facebook use affects self esteem.  The cool thing about the article was that it was written by a high school student.  And while I think of myself as young, and try so hard to be cool and relevant; I just can’t keep up with a teenager in terms of technology and social media and their effects on our psyches.

I’ve written about stress, self esteem and Facebook before, but was interested to read this author’s take on how Facebook use can affect self esteem in teens specifically.  She brought up some points I never would have thought of.  The number of “likes” one receives on posts or pictures, and the number of “friends” one racks up for instance.  As someone who is long past the teen years, I notice other things affecting my self esteem.  Things like friends’ vacation destinations, career accomplishments, and children’s behavior.

Of course Facebook is not all bad.  Connecting with long lost friends and family members is great, and so are the birthday wishes that come through on our timelines.  How does Facebook affect you? What about the teens in your life – does it affect them differently?  Check out the full article below:

The Philadelphia Inquirer: Debate over Facebook's effect on self esteem 04/07/2013

The Philadelphia Inquirer: Debate over Facebook’s effect on self esteem 04/07/2013

 

ImproveYour Mental Health: Cut Back on Facebook

22 Feb

Yesterday I wrote an article about Facebook Addiction*.  Namely, I provided some questions to ask yourself to determine if your Facebook use is having a negative impact on your mental health.  Take a look.

Today I am thinking about how to make changes in our Facebook use.  Keeping in mind that Facebook is not necessarily an evil force in all of our lives, but that for many of us it can cause some pretty negative and unnecessary emotions.

Some tips for changing your Facebook use so that it adds to your mental health (rather than taking away from it).

  • Set a time to check your Facebook account.  For example, check it on your lunch hour only.  The rest of the day is Facebook-free time.
  • Set an amount of time to check/post to Facebook.  For example, set aside 3o minutes/day to read and post – the timer on your phone or computer can come in handy with this one.  When the time is up, leave it alone until the next day.
  • Hide people whose posts upset you.  Why do I still read the “friend’s” posts that make me mad? We all have friends who post things we would rather not read.  Take the control Facebook gives you and hide their posts from your feed.
  • Don’t accept every friend request.  This may be a generational thing, but I don’t think we need to be “friends” with everyone.  As in the above tip, use the control you have and be selective of the people you let in to your Facebook world.
  • Consider a Facebook holiday.  I have a friend who is giving up Facebook for Lent.  If you really want to know how Facebook is affecting you, run an experiment and notice your mood now, and then after giving it up for a few days or a week.  See a big change for the better? Perhaps it’s time to give it up for good.

*Please note that Facebook Addiction is not an official diagnosis in the DSM-IV (or V as far as I know).  While it is not a “real” diagnosis, overuse of Facebook can certainly be detrimental to mental health.

Are You Addicted to Facebook?

21 Feb

I recently had a conversation with a colleague about Facebook.  She was wondering why so many of us continue to use Facebook when it makes so many of Screen shot 2013-02-21 at 10.39.48 AMus “crazy.”  And by crazy I mean: frustrated, sad, unworthy, annoyed, angry, jealous, and/or pissed off.  You know what I’m talking about: Facebook use can result in all types of emotions, many of them not so great.  For example, spending just a few minutes looking at my Facebook account this morning resulted in the following emotions:

  • excitement over a friend’s news that she is pregnant with baby #3
  • bewilderment/irritation over a couple distant friends and family member’s persistence in posting potentially offensive religious and political posts
  • jealousy over a friend’s pronouncement that she can still fit into her senior prom dress
  • revulsion/anger at the NY Times article about junk food science making the rounds in social media

So why do we continue to subject ourselves to this? Do we really need this extra stress in our lives? How do we know if we are “addicted*” to Facebook?

Some important questions to ask ourselves:

  • Is my time on Facebook keeping me from fulfilling my other duties in life (taking care of self and/or children, doing my job, etc)
  • Does my time or activity on Facebook cause problems at work?
  • Does my time or activity on Facebook cause problems in my interpersonal relationships?
  • Do I neglect “real” people or responsibilities in order to spend more time on Facebook?
  • Does what I read on Facebook have a significant impact on my mood everyday or most days?
  • Do I ever lie about my Facebook use, or hide it from others?

If you answered “yes” to more than 2 or 3 of these questions, it sounds like your Facebook use has a pretty huge impact on your daily life.  This might not be the best thing for your mental health.  Perhaps it’s time to change the way you use social media, and Facebook in particular.  Stay tuned for tips on how to cut back on Facebook.

*Please note that Facebook Addiction is not an official diagnosis in the DSM-IV (or V as far as I know).  While it is not a “real” diagnosis, over use of Facebook can certainly be detrimental to mental health.

Thrift Shops and Mental Health

1 Feb

Hello Dr. Stephanie readers! I apologize for being absent for the the last few days.  I am prepping for an exciting event this afternoon! I will be sure to post details after it has happened (and is published!).

My posts so far this year have been pretty serious, so I thought I would keep it lighthearted today – it is Friday after all!  For those DIY’ers out there, you may already be familiar with the blog Young House Love.  It’s a blog written by a young couple as they tackle home projects including construction, decorating, yardwork, etc.  It’s fun to read with lots of cool photos.  Even if you are not a DIY’er it is worth checking out.  Anyway, they posted a thrift shop challenge last week inspired by this song by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis (note: this is the clean version, so may be OK to share with the kiddos in your house):

I am going to forgo my urge to write about the merits of this song (because it encourages originality in dress and thinking, promotes inter-generational understanding, and challenges our materialistic culture that makes us feel as though we need to spend $50 on a t-shirt to be cool).  I am also going to resist writing about the pitfalls of this song (trashy language galore).  Instead I am going to focus on the FUN of it!  It simply makes me smile.

I had a professor in graduate school who frequently warned that “happiness is not a hot dog.”  I’m still – 10+ years later! – trying to figure out what that means, but I think it has something to do with not expecting happiness in things, food, or anything else external.  True happiness comes from within.  That may be, but sometimes silly, funny, and charming things do the trick in the short term.  Those are important pieces of mental health too.

I’m signing off now and keeping the rest of my psychology-heavy thoughts to myself.  Have fun listening, watching and thrifting!

Sexuality, Gender and Glee

25 Nov

It’s been a while since I have written about my fave TV show, Glee.  While my newish subscription to Netflix has opened up great new worlds of television programming (Downton Abbey, anyone?), I am still partial to Glee.  As I’ve written before, I love the music, the dancing, and the over the top dialogue.  But this year – perhaps even more than previous seasons – I am appreciative of Glee’s portrayal of gay teens.

Everyone loves Glease!
Photo: Glee on Fox

Glee and its actors have received awards in past years for their representation of teenage homosexuality.  These awards have been well-deserved.  But the cool thing about this season is that the fanfare seems to have died down, but the writers are still doing their thing, writing about love affairs of the straight and gay variety.  It seems to me that sexual preference  has become a bit of a non-issue over at McKinley High.  In fact, one of the newest students seems to be questioning his gender, together with his sexuality.  The sort of live-and-let-live attitude embraced by the fictional folks at McKinley High may not be representative of what is happening at all real life high schools.  But if life does in fact imitate art, sexuality and gender may one day be a sideline issue for all of us.  Something we notice in people but don’t allow to define them.  Something we allow young (and old!) people to explore and express as they may, when they may.

Adolescence can be rough on mental health.  Coping with the stressors of changing bodies, hormones, friends, academics, and the future – even the luckiest kids can struggle with bouts of depression and worry.  Add to the mix questions of sexuality and gender (and perhaps bullying by peers) and the chance of psychological distress can go up significantly.  Programs like Glee which normalize a wide range of sexual expression and gender orientation give all our kids a better chance at navigating the rough road of adolescence with a steady hand.

*Know a LGBTQ teen who is in crisis and in need of help?  Check out the Trevor Project, an organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning youth.  Click here for their website, or call 866-488-7386 for their Life Line.

Post-Election Stress Disorder

7 Nov

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a couple posts on Pre-Election Stress Disorder.  What started out as a sort of tongue-in-cheek post ended up as one of my most popular, and even led to a radio interview on WHYY FM in Philadelphia.  When I was contacted yesterday by a reporter for comments about POST-Election Stress, I figured I should write something about that, too!  Here goes:

There can be several reasons for feeling stressed, sad, or just plain overwhelmed after the election.  Some would argue that the protracted election brought out some of the worst of our country (nasty ads, downright lies, unproductive and sometimes ugly debates).  This alone can be reason to feel disappointment and anger at the process and the players involved.

Of course one can also feel stressed and angered about the outcome of the election.  And let’s not forget that the position of the President wasn’t the only one for which we were voting.  Representatives at all levels were chosen last night, as were local ballot measures affecting how our communities operate.  It can be easy to forget – with all of Obama and Romney’s hoopla – that folks might be struggling with the outcomes of these “smaller” ballot questions too.  (I for one have very strong feelings about the legalization of a certain fringy-leafed plant in my state – but the reasons for that are for another post).

So how can we cope with our disappointment, stress, anger, or fear?

Keep on Keeping on.  Most of us have some pretty good stress management strategies on board already.  Whether it’s walking, talking to a trusted friend, playing cribbage, doing yoga, reading, or praying – most of us can cite at least one thing that we are already doing that helps manage stress.  Trouble is, when stress hits, we sometimes abandon these good coping tools – just when we need them most!  Today is the perfect day to carve out a few minutes to practice the stress management skills you already have.

Take a Step Back.  The cool thing about this country is that it keeps on ticking no matter who is in charge.  You may be able to point to great presidents and not so great ones, but the fact is: times marches on.  Instead of focusing on today, try taking a longer view of both our history and our future.  Putting things in perspective can be a highly effective way to manage stress in the here and now.

Do Something.  As I mentioned in my post about Pre-Election Stress Disorder, there are lots of things we can do to affect political change in our country (and what an awesome thing that is!).  These include things like: volunteering for a political campaign, donating money to a candidate or cause, or running for office yourself.  Doing something productive and worthwhile (this does NOT include posting nasty messages on Facebook, etc) can again be a super antidote to feelings of stress, anger, and anxiety.

Turn it Off.  The election is over, we know the results, they are not going to change.  The media continues to talk about it, analyze it, and second guess it because they have to – they have lots of airtime to fill.  The good news is, you don’t have to watch it!  Re-hashing the nitty gritty of the election isn’t good for anyone – especially if you are unhappy with the outcome.  So turn off your TV, radio, and political websites and get out and do something fun!

*Disclaimer: I made up Post-Election Stress Disorder – it is not a real psychiatric diagnosis.  However, the stress, worry, and anxiety that folks feel around this time every 4 years is very real.  If worry and anxiety about this (or other) issues are negatively affecting you, please contact your health care provider.

 

 

5 Questions with Sally Koslow

5 Nov

Last month I posted a review of the book Slouching Toward Adulthood by Sally Koslow.  I remarked that while the book – about Generation Y’s slow pace

through life – was interesting, I found it rather sad.  Ms. Koslow, a Baby Boomer herself did a lovely job researching and writing about the history of both the Boomers and the Gen Y’ers.  I, a Gen X’er, simply found the whole topic irritating and wondered how my generation fits in between these two massive, sometimes self-centered, hugely influential generations.

Ms. Koslow was nice enough to agree to answer a few questions to help me get to the bottom of my concerns – as well as to help me (and you!) get to know her better. I am so grateful that this author, teacher, editor, wife, and mother took a moment to speak to me…Welcome, Ms. Koslow!

Dr. S: Given that Gen Y seems to be having a lot of fun traveling, teaching English all over the world, and living as long as possible without taking on adult-like commitments like mortgages and 401K’s – do you think the rest of us would benefit from adopting their worldview? Are we missing the boat by being too serious?
S.K.: I see a lot Gen X-ers and Boomers having fun. No one can accuse us of being too deep. And while sometimes the random acts of wandering you describe among Gen Y-ers allow them to hit on the magic combination to a padlock that frees up lasting contentment, for some people,–let’s be honest–this behavior is simply procrastination married to moral superiority. While researching Slouching Toward Adulthood, I met many Gen Y-ers who seemed to assume that there would always be enough time to do everything they want and that every light in front of them would always turn green. I worry that if they spend too many years in the activities you mention, they may miss out on other opportunities that they will enjoy. How many Gen Y-ers won’t evolve into cynics who wish that someone had kicked them in the butt when they were younger so they’d have already found a career path with which they can be reasonably happy and have started to build a life that makes it possible to provide a comfortable home for themselves and possibly children?

Dr. S.: As a Gen X’er I am interested to hear your thoughts about how my generation fits in between the Boomers and the Gen Y’ers? Or are we too small to be relevant?
S.K.: Many Gen X’ers are now thought leaders, rising in every profession. Your impact grows by the day.  You’re had the good fortunate to have graduated from college and professional schools when there was less unemployment than there is now. Gen Y-ers have drawn the short straw.

Dr. S.: What are you reading now?
S.K.: I’m in the middle of The Odd Women by George Gissing, a British author popular in the late 1880’s. This novel is fascinating and surprisingly contemporary, though a bit one-note. It’s set in London and explores hardships faced by single women as well as inequalities in and outside marriage. Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose—the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Dr. S.: Please tell me a bit about your new book coming out in June.
S.K.: The Widow Waltz, my fifth book, is a coming of age novel. One of the women is 50–it’s never too late to grow up—and will be published by Viking, It focuses on a recent widow as well as her daughters in their 20’s and the paths their lives take after the death of their husband/father. It’s a story of resilience built on the infrastructure of a mystery.

Dr. S.: One of the things I often write about is how to manage stress. We all know yoga is great, but I love to hear about some more creative solutions to stress management. For example, I have written that one of my go-to strategies is watching House Hunters. What do you do to manage your stress?
S.K.: Besides reading? I watch funny movies that I’ve seen so many times I can lip-synch. Topping my current rotation are Bridesmaids and As Good as It Gets. A few years ago I would have named Clueless and My Cousin Vinnie. After dipping into any of these films for a random ten minutes I feel mellow.

Thanks Ms. Koslow! To learn more about Ms. Koslow and her other books check out her website – www.SallyKoslow.com.  Click here to buy Slouching Toward Adulthood.  After reading it, let me know your thoughts!

Pre-Election Stress Disorder: Tips for Coping

25 Oct

The other day, I wrote an article about Pre-Election Stress Disorder, in which I described the symptoms and signs of the diagnosis*.   While not a real psychiatric disorder, stress, worry, and anxiety around election day are very real.   The constant ads, news, and other messages may be exciting for some, but for others it can all become too much.  If you have symptoms of PESD, don’t worry – there are things you can do to cope over the next two weeks of political bombardment – and they don’t include moving to another country!  Some tips:

Turn it off.  Remember the good old days when the news was only on TV a couple of times a day and the newspapers were read just once in the morning? While our constant access to “breaking news” – via TV, internet, Facebook, etc – can be interesting, it certainly doesn’t do much for one’s level of anxiety.  News outlets would have us believe that in order to be an informed citizen, we need to check in several times per day, however, this is rarely the case.  Even in our fast-paced world, news doesn’t typically happen at break-neck speed.  With that in mind, it can be beneficial to have a set time to get the election (and other) updates once or twice per day.  Other than that, keep the TV, websites, newspapers turned off.

Remember what’s important.  Not to say that national politics are not important, but keep in mind that they do not transcend all of the other things in your life and/or community.  Maintaining your health, relationships, professional life and hobbies are all important – don’t abandon them or forget about the real, day-to-day influence they have on your life.  Keeping in mind all the things that make your life your own, can help in remembering that the presidential election – no matter the outcome – is just one small piece of the puzzle that makes up your life.

Do what you can, leave behind what you can’t.  Here are some things we can do to affect change in our political system:

  • vote
  • work with a political campaign by knocking on doors, putting up yard signs, raising money
  • donate money
  • attend caucuses, rallies, etc
  • write to elected officials, visit their offices, etc
  • run for political office ourselves

Here are some things that do not affect change in our political system:

  • watch and read election/political coverage for hours each day
  • agonize over the fate of the election
  • threaten to move to another country if the election doesn’t go our way
  • give more weight to the election than it is due
  • fight and argue over who is right and who is wrong

Good luck managing over the next couple of weeks!

*Disclaimer: I made up Pre-Election Stress Disorder – it is not a real psychiatric diagnosis.  However, the stress, worry, and anxiety that folks feel around this time every 4 years is very real.  If worry and anxiety about this (or other) issues are negatively affecting you, please contact your health care provider.

Pre-Election Stress Disorder: Do You Have It?

23 Oct

Who us? Causing you stress?

Dr. Stephanie is now on Facebook – check it out!

Does anyone else feel completely overwhelmed by the election?  I don’t care what your party affiliation, presidential elections (and their accompanying nastiness) can be a huge source of stress for many people.  Even if you aren’t involved in a campaign, it’s tough to get a break from the candidates’ ads on TV, postcards in the mail, talk on the radio, and posts in the blogosphere.  Commentators’ rhetoric and opinions are often enough to push me right over the edge.  Does the same thing happen to you?  Do you have PESD?

What is Pre-Election Stress Disorder*?

  • Underlying or overt feelings of worry or anxiety when exposed to campaign coverage
  • Preoccupation with the political campaign and coverage/inability or difficulty turning off coverage of the election
  • Feelings of fatigue surrounding political talk/un-heathy lack of interest in the election (i.e., becoming so frustrated you no longer want to vote)
  • Disappointment, disgust, or depression surrounding either: 1) The state of our country 2) The integrity of our people 3) Your own future
  • Desire to spend the next two weeks in a foreign country with earplugs and a sleeping mask on

Any of these things sounds like you?  Well, you might have PESD! Tune in tomorrow and I will give you some tips for coping.

*Disclaimer: I made up Pre-Election Stress Disorder – it is not a real psychiatric diagnosis.  However, the stress, worry, and anxiety that folks feel around this time every 4 years is very real.  If worry and anxiety about this (or other) issues are negatively affecting you, please contact your health care provider.

 

Disney Characters Get an (Unhealthy?) Makeover

6 Sep

One of my colleagues, Dr. Elaine Ducharme, recently alerted me to an announcement by Barney’s about an upcoming ad campaign featuring

Image via Barneys.com

Disney characters.  She was pretty upset about the drastically slimmed-down Minnie Mouse among others.  Dr. Ducharme’s concern got me thinking, too.  Are the plump characters of old really out of date?  Have we become so used to super-thin models that our beloved cartoon characters need to put in time on The Biggest Loser?  To read Dr. Ducharme’s complete article about the dangers and signs of eating disorders and distorted body images, click here.  Here’s a glimpse of her article:

We have developed a society that shouts to us all from billboards, television screens, movie theaters, magazines and just about everywhere we look, that happiness comes only with being thin. The old saying that “you can’t be too thin or too rich” is just not true. And now, even Disney characters will be shouting this message to our kids.

What can you as a parent do when you see a child struggling with these issues? First, you can consistently and throughout your child’s life encourage independent thinking and have open discussions about healthy life-styles. Be aware of your own problems and concerns about weight and eating. Be wary of sports or dance coaches that encourage your child to lose just a few more pounds. Because most eating disorders begin while patients are in their teens or early 20’s be particularly aware of excessive exercise patterns and unusual restriction of caloric intake. Be aware of distortions of body image, signs of depression and low self-esteem. Many teens struggle with identity issues and in today’s highly competitive world, many achieving kids feel they should still be doing more. Help your child set realistic goals for themselves and strive to keep open lines of communication. If they frequently appear upset, and most teenagers do have down periods, ask them if they are just having a bad day or if they have been feeling depressed for a long time. And, if you suspect an eating disorder is developing, consult with your child’s physician, a psychologist or other mental health professional that has experience working with eating disorders. Once an individual admits they have a problem and are willing to seek help, they can be treated effectively through a combination of psychological, nutritional and medical care.